Funny
Why did I go golfing with two pairs of pants on?
just in case I get a hole in 1.
Which travels faster? Hot or Cold?
hot because you can catch a cold
The more you have of it, the less you see
darkness
What turns everything around but does not move?
mirror
Mr. Red lives in the red house. Mr. Blue lives in the blue house. Mrs. Pink lives in the pink house. Who lives in the white house?
PRESIDENT
What is never hungry during Thanksgiving?
stuffed turkey
I have two arms, but fingers none. I have two feet, but cannot run. I carry well, but I have found I carry with my feet off the ground. What am I?
wheelbarrow
A family lives in a large tower apartment building, 10 floors high. Every day their son takes the elevator from the family’s apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school. When he returns in the afternoon, he uses the elevator to get to the fifth floor, and then uses the stairs for the remaining five floors. Why?
Because he cannot reach the buttons higher than five.
What question can you never honestly say yes to?
are you asleep/are you sleeping
If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you won't have me. What am I?
a secret
There is an apple tree on a cliff. If the wind is blowing 15mph to the west, where would the apple fall?
down
***Triple Points***
Those who have it least don't know that they have it. Those who have it most wish they had less of it, but not too little or none at all. What is it?
Age
A man leaves home and turns left three times. When he returns home he finds two men wearing masks. Who are the two men?
umpire and catcher
What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?
your name
Kate’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Kate!
When I take five and add six, I get eleven, but when I take six and add seven, I get one. What am I?
clock
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood. Everyone uses me to write and draw, what am I?
pencil
A bus driver goes the wrong way on a one way street. He passes the cops but they don't stop him. Why?
Because he was walking.
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
your breath
I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?
a candle
What gives you the strength and power to walk through walls?
doors
Spelled forwards I'm what you do everyday, spelled backwards I'm something you hate. What am I?
live/evil
A woman is sitting in her hotel room when there is a knock at the door. She opens the door to find a man whom she has never seen before. The man says "oh I'm sorry, I thought this was my room." He then goes down the hallway and takes the elevator. The woman goes back into her room and phones security. Why?
you don't knock on YOUR ROOM
What word is always pronounced wrong
WRONG
I start with M, end with X, and have never ending amount of letters. What am I?
mailbox