No Good, No Bad, Just Ugly
Why do I crave validation from people, particularly when I'm overthinking?
I often feel a sense of being bothersome or annoying to people and feeling like I'm not worth enough, leading to a spiral of thinking.
When I attended a funeral for a distant relative I didn't know as a child and saw the body in the open casket, how did I respond?
I fell into an uncontrollable fit of giggling.
When did I start writing?
Middle school
What is my "type"? List at least 3 physical traits and 3 personality traits
Tall, dark-haired, lean with some muscle, smart, protective, possessive, dominant (in a good way)
Why do I have attachment and abandonment issues?
My mom left our family when I was young, and my parents divorced not long after that.
Which of the seven sins do I relate to most?
Envy
What is one thing I've noticed my traumatic family experiences have done to my memory?
I cannot remember large chunks of my childhood, and much of what I do remember is negative.
What sport was I involved in for many years as a kid?
Competitive gymnastics
Name five fictional boyfriends I have.
[See fictional boyfriend's list]
How old was I when my mom left?
Six years old
Why do I often need to be told to lower my voice volume, particularly when I'm excited?
As a kid I never felt heard and was often ignored by my family, so I started talking louder to make sure people were listening to me.
How did my family react to my diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes? (Multiple answers)
Dad: Thought I was making up excuses to get out of gymnastics and then felt bad when I was actually diagnosed with a disease.
Mom: Actually took me to the doc to get diagnosed. She freaked out immediately. Then she took me to lunch and I got pasta for lunch on my way to the hospital. She'd also gotten me donuts and strawberry milk for breakfast. My sugar upon arriving to the hospital was over 500 mg/dL.
Sibs: Felt bad for me and made a poster telling me to get better soon. They also treated me pretty fragilely for a while.
It was AWKWARD between all the parental figures all sitting in the same hospital room together. But I was vibin'.
What is a favorite topic of mine that does not relate in any way to medicine?
Mythology
When did I have my first crush?
When I was in 8th grade. [Cue meeting story].
How many "father figures" have I had?
Three. A biological, real father, a current stepfather, and a previous stepfather who died in a gun accident.
What is a human trait I despise above all others?
Hypocrisy.
What is one negative memory I have of my brother (Camden)?
Around the time I started college and wasn't at home as often, my brother, who never hugs me, would start coming up behind me when I was in my room and hug me from behind. I felt weird, so I would try to pull away, but he would pull me back into him, and I could feel his "Relevant Anatomy". I was extremely uncomfortable and once my mom came around the corner and, to avoid being caught, my brother pushed me onto my bed. Later on, my mom made him apologize and he never did it again.
How many different types of media revolving around mythology have I/do I partake in?
Books, comics, musicals, movies/TV, music, anime
How many official romantic relationships have I had?
One.
Why am I extremely non-confrontational?
My mom is quite the opposite of me. She is EXTREMELY confrontational to the point of fear for me. To name a few examples:
1. It doesn't take much for her to yell at people. She would often yell or scream at my dad before they separated.
2. She often yelled at us kids if we made a mistake or did something wrong. I specifically remember her yelling at one of us if we accidentally dropped something fragile and it broke. To this day, I am afraid of anyone's retaliation if I break something. Same goes for spilling something or making a mess.
3. I never confront her because I'm so afraid of saying something that will set her off because it doesn't take much to make her angry.
What is one big insecurity I have about myself? (Multiple answers)
1. I hate that I look so young. I feel like people never take me seriously because of it
2. I don't feel attractive because of how young I look. I get called "cute" more than anything else, and it leads me to believe men do not want me
3. I am self-conscious of the scars that I have from pricking and shots from having diabetes. Because I have to take insulin, I also have fat accumulation in places (belly) that I do not like.
4. I don't like being small, because people might think I can't handle anything as well as the average person.
What is the scariest thing I've experienced with my sister?
Once her boyfriend got in a minor car accident driving her car with his underaged sister in the backseat. He at one point smoked pot and they both vaped and her boyfriend had a stash of this pot in her car. Luckily the police didn't get called, but my sister had such a bad mental break that she was suicidal. When she called my mom, she gave Mer the choice of coming home, talking things out, and calming down, or taking her to the hospital for help. When she got to the house, I came out to comfort Mer, because we were both scared of my mom's retaliation.
What job did I tell myself would be fun if I didn't go into medicine?
A linguist
Why did this relationship end?
I was not romantically attracted to this person, but when he asked me out in my senior year of high school, I saw it as a possible opportunity that I didn't want to miss. About two months in, we kissed (which was super fast and REALLY awkward for me) so I confronted him and ended the relationship on good terms after realizing I couldn't see myself with him romantically.
How many times has my mom moved houses after leaving?
Seven. I have lived in five of those seven places.