Using Opposite Action
What is Opposite Action?
OPPOSITE ACTION (or Opposite Action to Emotion) is a skill we use when we recognize our emotions are leading to urges to act ineffectively. We can bring our intense emotions back to baseline by choosing (sometimes we have to choose more than once) to act OPPOSITE of our emotional urge.
Urges we may have when we're sad or lonely
_______ (many answers: some possibilities include isolation, avoidance, self-harm) - "vegging," withdrawing, turning inward and becoming passive.
I'm super angry because someone is threatening me. My urge is to tell them off in front of everyone so they won't mess with me again.
___________
Name a time recently when you used Opposite Action effectively.
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Define SMART Goals
S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Appealing
R = Realistic
T = Time-bound
What questions can I ask myself when I'm emotional to see if it's a good time to use Opposite Action?
Does my emotion fit the situation?
Does the intensity of my emotion fit the situation?
Am I having an urge to do something ineffective?
Urges we may have when we're angry
__________ - generally our anger urges involve the FIGHT in fight/flight/freeze. This could be aggressive language, yelling, passive aggression/sarcasm, slamming doors, cold shoulder - or turning the "attack" urge on ourselves (shame) using substances, self-harm, etc.
While I'm eating lunch, I see my significant other talking and laughing with a very attractive friend of mine across the room. I feel intensely jealous and want to question them and tell them to spend less time talking to that person.
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Name a time recently that you acted on an urge when opposite action would have been more effective.
___________
What is Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down?
•Thumbs Up:Helpful, positive actions, Helps us get what we want
•Thumbs Down:Unhelpful, negative actions, Gets in the way of our goals.
Name another skill we use to examine our emotions before we use OA.
Mindfulness
Urges we may have when we're jealous
_________ - jealousy urges usually have to do with regaining control - making someone feel less important so WE don't feel less important, or removing someone else's choices so we feel they can't hurt us.
When I try to explain to my psychiatrist that my depression is hard to manage right now, they tell me the meds are new and they want to give it some time before making changes. I want to cry,and isolate.
__________
What's an example of a time when using Opposite Action would NOT be effective?
When we feel FEAR (not anxiety) because of an actual threat to our safety, the APPROACH action is not a good idea!
What is an example of a body feeling?
What is an example of an emotion feeling?
hungry, itchy, tense etc
angry, sad, anxious, jealous etc
True or False: Opposite Action, if we do it right, is an action we will only need to do once in a situation.
FALSE. Oftentimes it takes more than one use of *any* skill before we can bring our emotion to a level that matches the situation. Be patient with yourself!
Urges we may have when we feel shame
_______ - shame urges usually prompt us to hide, avoid, or withdraw.
Because I had a really bad week this week I ended up skipping PSR all week. My social worker pulled me aside and told me that I need to go to PSR to be considered for discharge and because I skipped it they are frustrated with me.
I feel ashamed and like a disappointment, and have the urge to isolate more and self-harm.
____________
True or False:We can't change our feelings if it doesn't fit the facts
False: If your emotion doesn't fit the facts of the situation you can change it.
What are the 4 communication styles?
Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, assertive.
What are some obstacles to using OA?
Willfulness, physical state, being in emotion mind/not being mindful, etc.
Urges we may have with intense positive feelings? (think about being super excited, happy, having a crush...)
_______ - positive feelings can bring out impulsive urges ("I just got paid, time to buy ALL the shoes"). While love is a positive emotion, it can also create urges to discard healthy boundaries (changing our appearance to impress someone, rescuing behaviors, staying up all night texting someone to keep their attention)
At PSR, I meet a new peer who is struggling with similar issues to mine. This friend is awesome to spend time with and really seems to get me. They also brings me their problems frequently. Because I really care about them and want them as a friend, I have the urge to brainstorm lots of solutions for them and promise to come get them if they need help, no matter what.
_____________
List 3 Opposite actions you can use for
Fear:
Anger:
Sadness
Approach for fear
Be Kind or avoid for anger
Be active for sadness
What does Observe Inside mean?
Noticing my thoughts, body feelings, emotions and urges