T4C
Three Steps of Cognitive Self-Change
pay attention to our thinking, recognize risk, use new thinkin
ABC's of anger
Antecedent/Activating Event (what started it), Behavior (what did you do), Consequences (what were the short term and long term consequences of your behavior)
look at the person who is talking, thinking about what is being said, wait your turn to talk, say what you want to say
listening
Challenge 1
we decided to open up and talk honestly about ourselves and about alcohol and other drugs
Mutual Respect
respect to and from everyone
Six Steps for Problem Solving
stop and think, state the problem, set a goal and gather information, think of choices and consequences, make a plan, do and evaluate
Two kinds of triggers
external and internal triggers
decide if it would be best for you to apologize for something you did, think of the different ways you could apologize, choose the best time and place to apologize, make your apology
Apologizing
Challenge 2
Regulate
managing one's behavior
Reduce your risk
be quiet, get space, calm down
Deep breathing, counting backwards, pleasant imagery
tune in to what is going on in your body that helps you know you are about to lose control of yourself, decide what happened to make you feel this way, think about ways in which you might control yourself, choose the best way to control yourself and do it.
Using Self-Control
Challenge 3
We looked at our use of alcohol and other drugs to see if it had caused harm, or cold cause harm
We Listen
active listening, hearing each other
Angry Behavior Cycle
when one person initiates a trigger they usually get one back
decide if you have failed at something, think about why you failed, think about what you could do to keep from failing another time, decide if you want to try again, try again using your new idea
Responding to Failure
Challenge 4
We looked at our responsibility and the responsibility of others for our problems
Helpful or Hurtful
Is my behavior or words going to help someone or hurt someone
The Anger Control Chain
triggers, body signs, anger reducers, reminders, thinking ahead, social skill, self evaluation
Challenge 5
We thought about where we seemed to be headed, where we wanted to go, and what we wanted to accomplish.
Make It Right
opportunities to apologize or redo