Boundaries
What is a boundary?
A boundary is a rule or limit we set to help ourselves feel safe, respected, and comfortable.
Body Language:
What is defensiveness or discomfort look like?
Crossed arms and lack of eye contact may indicate this in a conversation.
What is being respectful or using “I” statements?
You’re doing this when you explain your side of something without blaming others.
What is active listening?
This is the act of fully concentrating, understanding, and responding during communication. Repeating a statement or feeling the person expresses to show you are listening.
What is reframing?
Changing your way of thinking to a more positive or relatable perspective
What can you say if someone keeps pressuring you after you say “no”?
"I already said no. Please stop.” And walk away or get help if needed.
What is your inside voice or calm voice?
Talking about your feelings without yelling or getting loud.
What is the formula for "I - Statements" ?
"I feel___ when you ___. Next time, I'd like___"
A parent says
“I’ve had such a long, stressful day.”
“That sounds really tiring. Want to tell me about it?”
" You said your day was long and stressful. Why do you feel that way?"
Your tween says:
“I got one answer wrong on my test. I’m so dumb.”
“You got most of it right — and now you know what to study next time”
A parent says:
"I’m going to read all your text messages to make sure you’re behaving."
What is a healthy way for the tween to respond to practice boundaries?
"I get why you worry, but I’d like to have some privacy. Can we agree to talk if you’re concerned about something instead?"
What is one thing you can do when you feel the conversation is escalating and you're feeling upset/angry?
* Taking a break (asking for 5 min.)
* Doing breathing exercises
* Organizing/cleaning
A parent says:
"You're always starting fights with your little sister/brother. Can you just leave them alone. Stop it!"
"I feel like you always blame me when we fight when you just tell me to stop. Next time, can you please ask what happened? "
Your tween yells:
“You never listen to me!”
“I hear that you’re feeling ignored. Can you help me understand what I missed?”
Your tween says:
“None of my friends texted me back. They must not like me anymore.”
“Maybe they’re just busy — Check in later or talk to them at school”?
What can you do if someone keeps crossing a line?
Repeat yourself and share how they crossed the line.
If it continues walk away.
Why does your tone of voice matter when you talk?
It can change the meaning of your words.
kind tone = kind message
rude tone = rude message.
Your tween left a huge mess in the living room after hanging out with friends, and you feel frustrated. What’s the best way for the parent to express this?
"I feel frustrated when the living room is left messy because I like to keep the house clean. Can you please help clean it up?"
What is paraphrasing or summarizing?
Repeating what the other person says in your own words to confirm what you are hearing.
A parent says:
“My kid is always moody and never wants to talk. I’m failing as a parent.”
“They’re growing and need space — but I’ll keep showing up for them”
What do you do if someone keeps telling you all their problems and it feels overwhelming?
Let them know you care but need a break, and suggest they talk to a trusted adult or professional services too.
What do you do if someone keeps interrupting you?
Say something like, “Can I finish what I was saying?” or talk to them privately if needed.
" I feel like this conversation is getting too heated when you begin to raise your voice and start saying mean things. I want a break from this conversation."
A parent says:
“I'm worried you're spending too much time on your phone.”
"You’re concerned about how much time I’m on the phone and online — want to talk about a plan?”
A Parent says:
"I feel like I am not respected or appreciated. Every time I come home from work, the house is a mess."
I think we’ve both been busy or stressed, can we talk about how we can show appreciation to each other?