What is Perfectionism?
What is perfectionism?
idea/belief that everything must be perfect all the time with no wiggle room.
Name at least 2 signs of perfectionism.
Bonus pts if you can list more.
Fear of failure, procrastination, defensiveness, lower self esteem, or being overly critical of oneself.
True or False: Perfectionists are always successful.
False.
Name one positive affirmation to use when facing perfectionist thoughts.
"It’s okay to make mistakes—they help me grow."
Your friend says, "You’re so good at everything, you don’t need help." How could you respond?
"I may seem like that, but I still need support sometimes."
Name at least 2 challenges of perfectionism. Bonus pts if more.
-difficulty making decisions/ 2nd guessing
-avoidance/procrastination
-self esteem dependent on meeting impossible standards
-impacts relationships
Give an example of how perfectionism can be celebrated/condoned in the media/in society?
rebranded as "high achievement," "attention to detail," or "passion," often masking the underlying anxiety and potential for burnout. It is frequently treated as a "favorite flaw" or a necessary, admirable trait for success. Promotes the "grind/hustle culture."
True or False: It’s better to be perfect than to make mistakes.
False. Mistakes are necessary for learning and growth.
What are 2 skills (CBT or DBT) that you can use to challenge perfectionism?
Bonus points if you can explain how/why.
Challenging Perfectionistic Thoughts (CBT)
Mindfulness (DBT)
Radical acceptance (DBT)
Opposite Action (DBT)
Wise mind (DBT)
You keep editing your art project because it’s not “perfect.” What could you do instead?
Set a time limit to stop working and accept it as it is.
How do comparisons play a role in perfectionism?
someone can use social media, family & friends, and societal ideas as fuel to "be better/work harder"
Name 3 emotions perfectionists often experience. Why?
Anxiety, frustration, resentful, insecure, disappointed, embarrassed etc.
True or False: Perfectionism is the same as working hard.
False. Hard work focuses on effort, while perfectionism focuses on avoiding flaws.
What’s a good first step to take when feeling overwhelmed by perfectionism?
STOP SKILL or Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
You’re afraid to join a new club because you might not be good at it. What’s one way to handle this?
Challenge the fear by focusing on having fun and learning something new.
what are the differences between upward and downward comparisons?
upward: compare themselves to those they perceive as better (e.g., on social media), seeing others' successes as proof of their own shortcomings, triggering shame and envy.
Downward: compare themselves to less capable individuals to seek reassurance, but this also reinforces the idea that being "good enough" requires being better than others.
Name at least 2 ways that perfectionism can impact relationships?
It can lead to high expectations for others, creating tension or conflict. It can lead to avoiding others.
True or False: If I lower my standards, I’ll become lazy.
False. Healthy standards lead to balance and motivation.
What’s one way to challenge perfectionism?
Set SMART goals or setting values based intentions.
100 Bonus Points if you can tell me what SMART Stands for.
You always compare yourself to others and feel like you’re not good enough. How can you cope?
Practice gratitude for your own strengths and accomplishments.
Name 3 cognitive distortions that can be present with perfectionistic thinking.
Bonus points if you can name more.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking): This involves seeing situations in extremes, with no middle ground. For perfectionists, this means that anything less than perfect is seen as a complete failure. For example, receiving a "B" on an assignment might be interpreted as "total failure".
2. Overgeneralization: This distortion involves taking a single negative event and generalizing it to all aspects of life or future events. For example, a minor mistake at work might lead a perfectionist to believe they are incompetent in all areas of their job.
3. Mental Filtering: This involves focusing on the negative aspects of a situation while filtering out the positive ones. A perfectionist might downplay their successes while dwelling on their flaws, even if those flaws are minor.
4. Discounting the Positive: Similar to mental filtering, this distortion involves dismissing positive feedback or accomplishments, making them seem insignificant or flukes. A perfectionist might brush off praise by saying it was luck or that anyone could have done it.
5. Catastrophizing: This involves exaggerating the potential consequences of a negative event, making it seem like a disaster. A perfectionist might believe that a small mistake could lead to complete ruin or failure.
6. Should Statements: These are rigid rules about how things "should" be, often leading to feelings of guilt or inadequacy when expectations are not met. Perfectionists often have high, self-imposed standards that are difficult to achieve.
7. Personalization: This involves taking responsibility for things that are not one's fault or overestimating one's impact on negative events. Perfectionists may blame themselves for things that are beyond their control.
8. Labeling: This involves attaching negative labels to oneself or others based on a single event or characteristic. For example, a perfectionist might label themselves a "failure" for making a mistake.
Name 3 physical effects that can come with perfectionism.
Stress-related symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or stomachaches or difficulty sleeping.
True or False: Perfectionism is the same as having high standard.
False. Perfectionism is rigid whereas high standards are flexible and adaptable.
What is self-compassion & how can it help overcome perfectionism?
1. treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during times of suffering, failure, or perceived inadequacy, rather than with harsh self-criticism
2. We are all going to mess up over & over & over and it can allow us some wiggle room.
Your goal was to eat at least 1 snack everyday this week. You miss snack on Wednesday? How can perfectionism or ED thoughts influence what you do next?
Varies. It could lead to skipping snacks the rest of the week because you "already failed."