Feel
You didn’t get picked to be line leader today.
How do you feel with your negative glasses on? What might you tell yourself with positive glasses on?
Neg: Sad, Hurt, Angry, Etc
Pos: "It's okay, I'll get picked next time."
A friend didn’t say hi to you at recess.
What do your negative lenses assume? What might be another explanation using your positive glasses?
Neg: "They don't like me." "They must be mad at me."
Pos: "Maybe they didn't see me."
A classmate didn’t invite you to their birthday party.
What thoughts come up through negative lenses? Can your positive lenses help you see other reasons they may not have invited you?
Neg: "They must not like me if I didn't get invited."
Pos: "We aren't that close of friends." "They probably could only invite a few people."
You have a substitute teacher today.
What makes this hard with negative glasses? How can you stay flexible with positive glasses?
Neg: "What if this teacher isn't nice?" "Why couldn't my teacher be here?"
Pos: "It's only for today, the teacher should be back soon."
How do you express disagreement?
A. By shouting louder
B. Ignoring the other person
C. With respect and clarity
D. By changing the topic
C. With respect and clarity
You got a problem wrong on your math test.
What might your negative glasses say about you? What could your positive glasses say about mistakes?
Neg: "I'm so dumb." "How could I get the problem wrong I know better."
Pos: "I tried my best and now I know what I need to study more next time."
Someone laughed after you answered a question.
What do your negative glasses assume? What are some positive ways to interpret what happened?
Neg: "That must've been a dumb question. I never should have asked it."
Pos: "They probably laughed at something else." "So what if they laughed at me? I'd rather ask my question than to stay silent and confused."
You made a mistake while presenting in front of the class.
What might your negative thoughts tell you? What could you remind yourself using positive thinking?
Neg: "Everyone noticed my mistake and probably thinks I'm dumb."
Pos: "Presenting in front of people is hard and I did my best."
You had to sit out of a game because you forgot your materials.
How do your negative glasses react? How can your positive lenses help you learn?
Neg: "I'm so dumb for forgetting my stuff, and now I'm mad at myself for not getting to play."
Pos: "Forgetting stuff happens and I really want to play, next time I'll double check that I have my stuff so I don't miss out."
What should you avoid when disagreeing?
A. Clear explanations
B. Personal Attacks
C. Active Listening
D. Respectful Tone
B. Personal Attacks
Your teacher gave you feedback on your project.
How does that feel through negative glasses? How could you use the feedback with a positive lenses?
Neg: "My teacher thinks I'm dumb and did something wrong. If not, why else would they be giving me feedback."
Pos: "Feedback is not always negative and is needed for improvement. We can't be perfect and can always refine our skills."
You hear someone whispering and you're not sure if it's about you.
What assumptions do your negative lenses make? What else might be going on from a positive view?
Neg: "They must be talking about me. What have I done wrong?"
Pos: "What is the possibility they are talking about me? Do I know them?" "They're probably talking about something they don't want other people to hear or know about."
You’re trying something new for the first time.
What worries show up with negative lenses? How might you encourage yourself with positive lenses?
Neg: "What if I'm not good and what if I can't do it?"
Pos: "It is my first time trying this, I don't have to be good on my first try." "It takes time to get better at least I tried."
You had to wait a long time for your turn.
How do your negative glasses handle waiting? What coping skills or thoughts help you when you have your positive lenses on?
Neg: "I hate waiting, people must be doing this on purpose. Why can't they hurry up?"
Pos: "I'm getting impatient, let me use some deep breathing (or other coping skills) to regulate myself." "Others must be struggling and that's why it is taking a while."
How does empathy play a role in disagreement?
A. It creates distance
B. It complicates things
C. It fosters understanding
D. It makes no difference
C. It fosters understanding
A teammate didn't pass the ball to you during a game.
What story do your negative glasses tell? Can your positive lenses help you see why they may not have passed?
Neg: "They must think I'm a bad player."
Pos: "From their POV they probably didn't have an opening to pass to me."
Your teacher asked you to redo your assignment.
How do you feel hearing that with negative glasses? Can your positive lenses help you see this as a chance to grow?
Neg: "My teacher must think I'm dumb and can't do anything right."
Pos: "Let me ask my teacher why I need to redo my assignment and see if they can help me, that way I can know for next time."
You feel nervous before a test.
What might your negative mindset say? How can your positive glasses help you feel confident?
Neg: "I'm going to fail this test. I have no idea what I am doing. I am going to be a failure."
Pos: "I studied as much as I could and it's okay if I miss a few questions." "I've been nervous before and managed to pass those tests, this time is no different."
You spilled something and felt embarrassed.
What kind of self-talk happens through negative lenses? How can your positive lenses help you be kind to yourself?
Neg: "I'm so stupid. How could I spill? Everyone saw and probably thinks I'm an idiot."
Pos: "Spilling happens and it can be cleaned up. Does it feel bad? Yes, but it's not like it was on purpose."
How can body language affect disagreement?
A. It can escalate tension
B. It doesn't matter
C. It always helps
D. It's irrelevant
A. It can escalate tension
You weren’t picked to win a contest or prize.
What might your negative glasses say about your worth? How can you celebrate trying your best through positive lenses?
Neg: "Why didn't I get picked? I must not be worth winning things."
Pos: "Anyone could have won, looking at my chances, I'm glad to have been in the running, maybe next time."
It’s raining and you can’t go outside for recess.
What thoughts pop up with negative lenses? What can your positive lenses help you see?
Neg: "Great, now my day is ruined and I won't be able to go outside and play."
Pos: "I really wanted to go outside for recess but it is raining and wet outside. Maybe my friends want to play a board game or something indoors."
You were asked to partner with someone you don’t know well.
What worries come up with negative glasses? What opportunities might your positive glasses show?
Neg: "What if this person doesn't do their work and I have to do everything?"
Pos: "Gives me a chance to practice some skills, such as working in a team and communicating."
You didn’t finish your classwork in time.
What thoughts might come up through negative lenses? How could positive lenses help you move forward?
Neg: "I'm so slow, how could I not finish my work? Everyone else is so much smarter and faster than me because they finished."
Pos: "The work was hard, and I did my best with what I understood." "Just because others finished faster than me says nothing about my intelligence because everyone is different."
What is a key element of constructive disagreement?
A. Personal Attacks
B. Being Stubborn
C. Open-mindedness
D. Avoiding Solutions
C. Open-mindedness