Emotions
TRUE OR FALSE: There is a right way to feel in every situation
FALSE: Feelings are not right or wrong. Different people will feel different emotions depending on the situation.
What is abuse?
Abuse is a physical, verbal, and/or emotional attack to control someone's behaviour, in order to meet your own needs. Abuse does not consider the thoughts and feelings of the other person.
What are different forms of communication?
-Word choice
-Tone
-Body language
What is the opposite action to a power struggle?
Healthy conflict management
What are 3 positive ways we can cope with overwhelming emotions?
- talk to someone supportive
- deep breathing
- distraction: engage in a hobby, like reading or music
What is the difference between guilt and shame?
Guilt has an emphasis on action and what we did: 'I did something bad'
Shame has an emphasis on self: 'I am something bad'
What is expressive violence?
Violence as a result of a reaction; in response to an emotional situation
What are the 3x less healthy communication styles?
-Passive
-Aggressive
-Passive-aggressive
What are the AAA of taking responsibility?
-Admit
-Apologize
-Action
What are the walls of the sound relationship house
Trust and Commitment
TRUE OR FALSE: Emotions impact our thoughts and behaviours
True: Emotions are connected to our thoughts and behaviours. Unpleasant emotions create negative thoughts and vice versa. Unpleasant emotions can result in poor coping mechanism/behavioural choices
What is an example of instrumental violence?
Instrumental violence is goal directed; there is a means to an end.
What are the components of active listening?
-Summarize
-Ask questions
-Be curious
How are 'time outs' different than 'walking away'?
Time outs give us an opportunity to calm down and regroup ourselves, so we can work towards healthy conflict resolution
Walking away is a way to avoid, ignore, or suppress an issue, usually resulting in further conflict down the road
When dealing with difficult emotions, what are 3x options for Active Coping?
-Feed it: Increase the feeling
-Watch it: Feel the feeling
-Douse it: Decrease the feeling
Do all difficult emotions increase in intensity if we don't act on them immediately?
No, emotions don't last forever. They reach a peak and then subside.
Name at least 4x of the different types of abuse
Intimidation, threats, economic abuse, emotional abuse, using gender privilege, using isolation, using children, minimizing/denying/blaming, using technology
Name at least 1x tip for successful Assertive Communication
-Start easy
-Ask for time
-Only set limits you are willing and able to defend
-Remember 'I' statements
What are the 4x horsemen of the Apocalypse by the Gottman Institute?
-Criticism
-Defensiveness
-Contempt
-Stonewalling
How can we develop trust in relationships?
Respectful interactions, listening, honest and clear communication, consistent and responsible behaviors
What do the AAA stand for when managing emotions?
-Awareness: What am I feeling
-Acceptance: Allowing ourselves to feel the feeling
-Active Coping: Being intention with how we cope
What are some equitable behaviors to replace abusive behaviors? Name at least 4
non-intimidating behavior, negotiation and fairness, economic partnership, respect, shared responsibility, trust and support, responsible parenting, honesty and accountability, using technology respectfully
Paraphrase the following: All I ever do is the dirty work around here. You come home and get to lie on the couch, and I'm left to clean-up, do the dishes, and do the laundry, after a long day
Example: It sounds like you feel stuck doing all the chores and that things are not split evenly
What are the 4x skills to replace the 4x Horsemen and manage conflict in a healthy way?
-Gentle start-up
-Accepting responsibility
-Respect and appreciation
-Comfort yourself
How can we prevent further emotional outbursts or problematic behaviours that resulted in charges?
Completing and being aware of our Risk Management Plans