ADMISSION IS KEY
"Now and Then" by The Beatles
"My way" by Sinatra
"Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver
"I'll Walk Alone" by Dinah Shore
What is a Music Survey?
Definitely not in plastic, nor juice or paper cups, but definitely in stemless or stemmed.
What is wine served in?
Pharmacy count sheets in a binder.
What is our Narc book?
Now it's one for all, not all for one unless it's by exception.
What are Community Rounds?
Should've been gone, yet some kept writing in them all day long.
What are Green Charts?
There used to be two now there's one, and it's the way to tell us what we need to know about the resident.
What is the Social Bio?
Whether trimmed by cutting or filing, we'll let the Professional do the styling.
What is toenail trimming?
Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Pepto, Milk of Magnesium, etc.
What are House Stock medications?
From 3 to 6 will be the only time you click, unless there's a change in condition.
What is an Assessment?
Oh, you better Narc, Narc on wood. Or it's more like, you better Knock-on Wood that these aren't found in your med room.
What is the Narc book?
Often, you're asked to fill this out when going to the doctor, but we won't have one anymore.
What is a History and Physical form?
Happy hour. Cheers to all. The only way we'll keep the residents away is if the good doctors say.
What is alcohol for all residents?
AM, PM, 2 hours before or after. Not specifically at 7a, 3p, 7p.
What is a liberalized medication pass?
Temp high, Temp low. Inflate the cuff. Hopefully, the bottom number is 80 or below. Heart beating fast, pulse is slow, no need to document unless you're told so.
What are vital signs?
Log them in, log them out. Move ins and move outs.
What is the LTC Admissions book?
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
What are the days of the week that we do admissions?
Daily Double: perception, seconds, feet.
What is 90, 90, 90?
Logs of medication deliveries
What is the Central Storage Log?
Whether at 6am, 6pm, once a day, twice a day, every other day, but hopefully not once a week, either way we'll only track it on tissue. Unless otherwise ordered.
What are bowel movements?
Don't ResuScitate this manual.
What is the DRS manual?
Call me by when? To get this tour in?
What is IMMEDIATELY?
What is Happiness?
Upon admission, and every six months, printed and signed by the doctor.
What are Physician Orders?
This statement is in the Witness Protection Program
Instead of weekly, I'll have all month to drop these pounds and write it down.
What are weekly weights?