LIES
EVERYONE IS JUDGING ME
*I CAN'T READ THEIR MINDS
*I COULD ASK GOOD QUESTIONS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE THINKING
*I CAN'T READ BODY OR FACIAL LANGUAGE
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
YOU ARE AT HOME WITH SOMEONE IMPORTANT AND THEY NOTICE THAT YOU ARE SHUTTING DOWN, AND THEY SAY "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"
YOUR RESPONSE IS "NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME!!" AND LEAVE THE ROOM
*PAUSE, TAKE A BREATH. I NEED A MINUTE
*I AM FEELING OFF, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY, I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I KNOW
*I'M FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME, AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME, BUT I AM SHUTTING DOWN BECAUSE I'VE HAD A LONG DAY
ANGER
SOMEONE CUT YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC, YOU FEEL HOT AND A SWEAR WORD COMES FLYING OUT.
*BE QUICK TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, SLOW TO ANGER (BREATHE, GIVE THEM SPACE AND FORGIVE THEM)
THEY DON'T NEED ME HERE
*MY WORTH COMES FROM JESUS AND NOT PEOPLE OR TITLES
*I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS IMPORTANT
*I AM VALUABLE
*I KNOW WHO I AM AND WHAT THAT BRINGS INTO A ROOM
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
MY FRIEND STACY SAYS "WHOA, LOOKS LIKE A TORNADO WENT THROUGH YOUR HOUSE"
I LAUGH AND BRUSH IT OFF
*CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT YOU MEANT BY THAT COMMENT
*WHEN YOU SAID "IT LOOKED LIKE A TORNADO WENT THROUGH MY HOUSE, I FELT DEFEATED, BECAUSE I HAVE ALOT ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW AND I AM TRYING MY BEST.
CONFUSED
SOMETHING WAS SAID THAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. I WAS CONFUSED AND GOT QUIET.
*INSTEAD OF SHUTTING DOWN, ASK QUESTION TO GAIN CLARITY
*DON'T LET THE LIE OF TWO MUCH TIME IS PAST, TO GO BACK TO ASK GOOD QUESTIONS, AFTER YOU HAVE PROCESSED.
I AM A FAILURE
-AS A MOM
-AS A DAD
-AS A FRIEND
-AS AN EMPLOYEE
*I DESERVE GRACE AS I AM GROWING
*I FORGIVE OTHERS AND NEED TO ALSO FORGIVE MYSELF
*I AM DOING MY BEST AT BEING
- MOM
-DAD
-FRIEND
-EMPLOYEE
YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO CHURCH AND NORMALLY ARE DRESSED UP. TODAY HOWEVER, YOU WORE COMFY CLOTHES AND HAD YOUR HAIR UP AND CHOSE TO NOT BE RUSHED THIS MORNING.
AS SOON AS YOU GET TO CHURCH, STACEY GREETS YOU WITH THE COMMENT "DID YOU MISS YOUR ALARM THIS MORNING?"
RESPONSE- I DON'T NEED AN ALARM, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
STACEY- WELL YOU NORMALLY DRESS UP AND YOU ARE LATE.
RESPONSE- WHAT, ARE YOU ALWAYS ON TIME, AND I CAN COME HOWEVER I WANT, THANKS.
*NO, I AM CHOICING TO NOT BE RUSHED THIS MORNING.
*I AM CONFUSED, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOU THINK I MISSED MY ALARM?
* I CAN SEE WHY YOU THINK I MISSED MY ALARM SINCE I NORMALLY DRESS UP. HOWEVER, TODAY I AM FEELING RELAXED AND DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE A MORNING WHERE I FELT RUSHED.
EXCITEMENT
YOUR FRIEND GOT A NEW JOB. THEY ARE SHARING IT WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, YOU ARE SO EXCITED YOU CUT HER OFF AND RUN THE COVERSATION WITH CONGRATULATIONS.. AND SHARING HOW YOU CAN RELATE WHEN YOU GOT A NEW JOB.
*TAKE TIME TO HONOR YOUR FRIEND. LET HER SHARE HER EXPERIENCE AND THEN BE EXCITED WITH HER.
*HONOR YOUR FRIEND BY ALLOWING OTHERS TO CELEBRATE WITH HER WITHOUT SHARING YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. SAVE THAT FOR ONE ON ONE TIME.
*I WAS CREATED WITH PURPOSE BY GOD, ONLY I CAN FULFILL.
*I HAVE A UNIQUE DESTINY AND CALLING
*SUPPORTING OTHER PEOPLES CALLINGS IS MY ASSIGNMENT RIGHT NOW.
PASSIVE AGGRESSION
YOU ASKED YOUR CHILD TO DO THE DISHES, A FEW TIMES, AND IT HASN'T BEEN COMPLETED. YOU WALK THROUGH THE HOUSE SAYING IT WOULD BE SO NICE TO HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE.. SIGHING..
* ASK THE CHILD WOULD YOU LIKE TO WASH THE DISHES NOW, OR AFTER DINNER.
*HEY I AM FEELING REALLY OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW, I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP IN GETTING THE DISHES DONE.
SADNESS
YOU HAVE AN EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE THAT WAS DEVASTING, BUT YOU NEVER TAKE THE TIME TO GAIN HEALING. SO WHEN OTHERS AROUND YOU ARE EXERIENCING JOY, YOU TEND TO FOCUS ON YOUR PAIN.
*NOTICE WHEN AN EXPERIENCE TURNS INTO GRIEF, AND ASK FOR OUTSIDE HELP
*STAY AROUND COMMUNITY TO RECEIVE ENCOURAGEMENT AND PERSPECTIVE
*BE AWARE OF YOUR SEASON, IF THIS SADNESS IS LASTING LONGER THAN 3 MONTHS, THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING MORE HAPPENING
I CAN'T DO IT
-CHANGE MY DIET, EXCERSIE PLAN, SPENDING HABITS, SLEEP ROUTINE
-OUTREACH (INTROVERT / EXTROVERT)
-START A BUSINESS OR MINISTRY
-CHANGE MY LANGUAGE
-FINANCES- SAVINGS
*I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS
*ITS STARTS WITH MY LANGUAGE, I CAN AND I WILL DO IT.
*IF ITS IMPORTANT TO ME THEN I WILL MAKE IT A PRIORITY
*EVEN JESUS WAS AN INTROVERT AND IF HE CAN DO IT SO CAN I
*IF THE DESIRE IS IN MY HEART AND IS CALLED BY GOD HE WILL GIVE ME THE TOOLS TO BE SUCCESSFUL
EMOTIONAL SHUTDOWN
AT YOUR WORK THERE WAS A PROBLEM THAT NEEDED A SOLUTION, YOU HAD A GOOD IDEA, AND WHEN YOU DECIDED TO SHARE IT, YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO EXPRESS IT FULLY AND WAS TOLD IT WAS A BAD IDEA.
YOU THEN SAID NOTHING WHILE THE REST OF YOUR CO WORKER FINISHED THE CONVERSATION
*WHEN YOU SAID MY IDEA WAS NOT A GOOD ONE, I FELT UNHEARD BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO RELAY THE FULL CONCEPT OF MY IDEA BEFORE IT WAS DISMISSED. CAN I EXPLAIN?
FEAR
YOU HAVE HAD A COMMITMENT BROKEN BEFORE.
HOWEVER, YOU ARE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH A POWERFUL NOW.
YOU FIND YOURSELF WANTING TO CONTROL BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID OF BEING LET DOWN, YOU ARE AFRAID OF SOMETHING HAPPEING TO THEM, OR HAVE FEAR OF LOSING THEM.
* WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF WANTING TO CONTROL, FIND THE ROOT
*EXPRESS YOUR CONCERNS IN A HEALTHY WAY, TO HAVE NEEDS MET, THEM UNDERSTAND, CAUSING FREEDOM AND TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP