Rules of Social Interaction
True/False. If it's the truth, you can say it out loud.
False. Just because something is true, doesn't mean it's okay to say it. We keep truths in our heads when it's hurtful to someone.
What does it mean to be "tuned in?"
You are noticing your own actions and the actions of others around you.
What is perspective taking?
Thinking about how someone else is feeling in a certain situation. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how you would feel if you were in the same situation.
1. Your new hair color looks awful.
2. Your new hair color really brings out the color of your eyes.
Think it: Your new hair color looks awful. This would hurt someone's feelings.
Say it: Your new hair color really brings out the color of your eyes. This compliment would make someone feel good about themselves.
Biting your nails in class
Unexpected behavior
Before saying our thoughts, what should we stop and think about?
Think whether we should say them out loud or keep them silent in our heads. Think how it would make others feel if they heard our thoughts.
You arrive late to class and all of your classmates are quietly working independently. Name one example of being tuned in and one example of not being tuned in.
Tuned in: Quietly take a seat, look around to see what others are working on, and work quietly at your desk.
Not tuned in: Make noise and speak out loud to classmates.
Your friend loves dogs and you are allergic. You think dogs make horrible pets. Cats are much cleaner and they sit on your lap. What would your friend's perspective be?
Since your friend isn't allergic to dogs, he might feel the same way about dogs as you do about cats. Dogs also make good companions. People could like both. People don't need to have the same opinion.
1. She is the smartest person I know.
2. I wish I could be more like her.
Say it: You can say both. They are compliments and would not hurt someone's feelings. Be careful of who else is present because it may hurt their feelings.
Blurting out or making noises in class.
Unexpected behavior
True/False. Bragging and complaining that doesn't hurt the other person's feelings are okay to say out loud.
False. Bragging and complaining can still make others feel negatively about you even if it doesn't directly hurt them.
Your friend tells you her dog just died? Give one example of being tuned in and one example of not being tuned in.
Tuned in: Express that you are sorry for her loss. Relate to her experience if you can.
Not tuned in: Talk about a different topic or not being empathetic for her loss.
Every time you blurt out answers in class, your classmates roll their eyes or give you a weird look. What might they be thinking?
You're not following the classroom rules or waiting to be called on to answer. They'd like their turn to answer the question too.
1. I wish my teacher would teach faster.
2. I'm getting bored of this lesson.
Think it: Don't say either. Both comments would either hurt someone's feelings or cause negative feelings towards you.
Saying thank you when a teacher says, "Good job."
Expected behavior
If you aren't interested in a topic that your friend is talking about, what should you do in the conversation?
Fake interest so that you can contribute to the conversation. In order to be a good friend, you can't just talk about what you are interested in.
You are volunteering to answer a question and your teacher hasn't picked on you. Name an example of being tuned in and one example of not being tuned in.
Tuned in: You realize that you have already answered a question previously and it's someone else's turn to contribute.
Not tuned in: You blurt out the answer or complain about not getting called on.
Your friend says something mean to you. It makes you feel bad. How might she feel?
Your friend might be going through something or feel insecure about herself. If something she says is hurtful, you can tell her. If she usually never says mean things, maybe consider ignoring it because she might be having a bad day.
1. I never would be caught dead at her party.
2. I can't make it to your party because I already have plans.
Think it: I never would be caught dead at her party. This would hurt the other person's feeling.
Say it: I can't make it to your party because I already have plans. If said using the appropriate tone, it may be an appropriate comment.
Yelling back across the room at a classmate that made fun of you.
Unexpected behavior
Name the three skills for whole body listening.
Listen with your ears.
Pay attention with your eyes.
Keep your body calm and turned towards the speaker.
Name 1 of the 3 skills you need to do to be tuned in.
1. Think about the TIME and PLACE.
2. Think about your actions.
3. Think about how your actions will make others feel.
A student in your class keeps flapping his hands or rocking back and forth in his chair, sometimes making high pitched noises. It's really annoying you. What might be the perspective of the other student?
The other student may not be able to help it. It could be a behavior that he can't stop from happening because he was born that way. Sometimes people do repetitive behaviors to calm themselves down.
Mom, you aren't understanding me.
Depends on your tone. If you say it respectfully, it could allow you to have a meaningful conversation. If you have a disrespectful tone, it could hurt your mom's feelings or cause negative feelings.
Telling someone to stop making fun of you.
Expected behavior as long as you are saying it in an appropriate way.