I must accelerate at a high enough velocity so that I can transcend all possible speed limits
Sonic
Prompt: An office worker desperately late for work, so they must do Mario 64 BLJ’s in order to just barely make it.
The opposite of sun
Daughter
Prompt: Two wrestlers trying to use fighting game moves in the ring
How can NASA land on the sun?
Go at nighttime
Prompt: the thought process of an unknown player on the verge of defeating Daigo Umehara in tournament
Debut leader of the American Colonies that Gathered Together in 1781
George Washington
Prompt: a Dark Souls boss about to fight the player character again after killing them 74 times in a row
Material Cog Gas
Metal Gear Solid
Prompt: Two friends suffering from a 10-loss streak in ranked
I am prepared! I am prepared! I am prepared!
Spongebob
Prompt: Two players in a team battle royale surrounded on all sides, and they talk about how they’ll just win.
Multiple small people that you wear
Shorts
Prompt: two hippies getting high on normal chocolate bars
How do you dodge an earthquake?
Jump (or fly)
Prompt: an annoying person using astrology to justify their bad habits
Michael Phelps won how many Olympic gold medals in his career?
28
Prompt: a foot soldier of a platoon sent to fight the evil god, knowing it’s hopeless
BlazBlue Central Fiction
Prompt: sleepy UwU Vtuber trying to order a coffee to stay the **** awake
Ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith...
Ellis
Prompt: A gacha addict that must obtain that limited SSR, but their financial advisor desperately tries to talk them out of it.
Gambling with a computer part that you can eat
Chip
Prompt: the dark lord at the grocery store checkout with an expired coupon
How long was the Hundred Years' War?
116 years
Prompt: Pokémon trainers meticulously explaining their every move in battle
Best-selling game of all time
Tetris
Prompt: Miss Universe, but she’s literally the size of the universe and the award is way too small for her
Friend Girl
Family Guy
Prompt: Relating the current conversation about work to random cutaway gags
Most commonly misheard as "We're all going to Memphis!"
Luke
Prompt: a flat-earther who suddenly is convinced that the Earth is round
What has four wheels and flies?
The garbage truck
Prompt: Two “heroes” trying to argue about whose superpower is lamer
Rock Paper Scissors, go!
I chose gun (you lose if you say anything that loses to gun)
Prompt: the obnoxious kid on the playground who always calls “base” during tag
Was so absurdly broken that the "meta" entirely revolved around him for as long as the game lived
Brawl Meta Knight
Prompt: Steve Harvey about to jump the slippery slope from a contestant’s stupid answer
Water Badge Six Abodes
Fire Emblem Three Houses
Prompt: A Persona 5 fan that is haunted by Cassandra Lee Morris’s voice
87 years ago
Abraham Lincoln
Prompt: the inventor of numbers pitching the idea to their clueless friend
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo
Buffalo
Prompt: Two wizards in a magic battle, casting increasingly more complicated magic
How to make holy water
Boil the hell out of it
Prompt: one thousand monkeys on typewriters, but one monkey actually makes a coherent story
It was his hat
Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen
Prompt: An exhausted waiter/waitress in total shock from a customer who shows basic manners and respect, to the customer’s confusion
Strange Sword Stories
Xenoblade Chronicles
Prompt: an American trying Southeast Asian spicy food for the first time