Forms of Abuse
What is Physical Abuse?
Any intentional use of physical touch to cause fear, injury, or assert control, such as hitting, shoving, & strangling.
Putting them down. Making them feel bad about themself. Name calling, yelling, or cussing at them. Making them think they are crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating the other person. Making them feel guilty.
Examples of Respect?
Listening non-judgmentally, being understanding, thoughtful, valuing their opinions.
Examples of Thoughts/Worries?
Will people believe me? What will happen to the person that hurt me? Will I be hurt again? Does what happened make me a bad person? Why didn't I tell sooner? Is it my fault?
What is Grooming?
When an adult builds a relationship with a child to gain trust for the purposes of sexual abuse or exploitation.
What is Sexual Abuse?
Sexual activity that occurs without willing, active, unimpaired consent, such as unwanted sexual touch, sexual assault, rape, or tampering with contraceptives. Includes non-sexual contact between an adult and child, an older teen and younger child, or between two people where one person has more power.
Examples of Intimidation?
Making someone afraid by using looks, actions, gestures. Smashing things. Destroying property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.
Examples of Good Communication?
Problem solving, compromising, taking turns, good tone/volume, not name calling or talking over the other person.
Examples of Feelings or Emotions?
Confused, scared, upset, uncomfortable, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, nervous.
Stages 1 & 2: Targeting and Gaining Trust
May look for perceived vulnerabilities and gather information about needs/desires. May start to build trust with the child and family/friends around them.
What is Emotional or Verbal Abuse?
Non-physical damaging behaviors like threats, insults, screaming, constant monitoring, or isolation.
Examples of Isolation or Exclusion?
Controlling what another person does, who they see, who they talk to, what they read, and where they go. Limiting outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.
Examples of Honesty or Accountability?
Examples of Post-Traumatic Stress Symptoms?
Problems falling asleep, staying asleep, paying attention, nightmares, avoidance, being jumpy, flashbacks.
Stages 3 & 4: Fulfilling a Need and Isolation
May offer gifts, attention, favors, affection, or basic needs (food, shelter) and begin to isolate from friends/family.
What is Stalking?
Being repeatedly watched, followed, monitored, or harassed. Can occur online or in-person, & include giving unwanted gifts.
Examples of Minimizing, Denying, or Blaming?
Not taking the abuse seriously. Saying the abuse didn’t happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying the person being abuse caused it to happen, they will get in trouble, people will get mad at them.
Examples of Trust or Support?
Supporting the other person's goals. Respecting the other person's right to have feelings, friends, activities, opinions.
Examples of Parent/Caregiver Reactions?
May feel angry, guilty, upset, sad. May be worried about their child's future or safety. May also have past trauma experiences.
Stages 5 & 6: Sexualizing the Relationship and Maintaining Control
May use coercion to gradually sexualize the relationship and continue gaining trust. May use secrecy, blame, or threats to maintain control and prevent disclosure.
What is Digital Abuse?
Using technology to bully, stalk, threaten, or intimidate someone using texting, social media, apps, tracking, etc. Can include sextortion.
Examples of Coercion or Threats?
Coercion is manipulating or pressuring someone to do something they are uncomfortable with, such as engaging in sexual activity, illegal things, or dropping the charges. Someone can threaten to leave the person or use their financial situation against them. Can also threaten to hurt themselves, the person, or someone else if they tell about the abuse.
Examples of Self-Confidence, Shared Power, or Personal Growth?
Self-Confidence: Supporting the other person's personal identity. Shared power: Making decisions together and understanding the influence each person has. Personal Growth: Respecting the other person's individual growth, goals, and freedom.
Examples of Why Someone May Not Disclose Abuse?
May be tricked, bribed, groomed, or threatened into going along with the abuse. May feel that they will get in trouble, family will split up, or want to protect the other person from getting in trouble.
Can Family/Friends Be Groomed?
Yes, the person may appear reliable and trustworthy and will work very hard to be liked by the people around the child to keep the abuse/exploitation hidden from others.