Please sir, my website
Do the needful
Your ticket has been auto-escalated
I'd like to cancel
How do I DNS?
100
Pls, my website isn't loading and is saying index of/. Where is my website?
What is "it's in another directory"
100
My website is TYOTALLY WHITE
What is "check themes, and plugins"
100
I put in a cancellation request for end of billing cycle. Where is my reFUNd?!?!
What is "customer is not due a refund"?
100
When can I expect a response on my ticket?!
What is "I cannot give you a timeframe, but a ticket agent will respond as soon as possible"?
100
WHY IS MY WEBSITE SHOWING THE DEFAULT PAGE?!
What is "check DNS"?
200
Where is my websight?~~!?!11 Its saying no domain?!!?!!@1
What is "check DNS"
200
I'm stuck with this issue and I dont know what is wrong? Where do I go for help?!!?
What is GOOGLE FIRST AND KB ARTICLES SECOND, then Livechat, then webcoach
200
NAME ALL 6 WEBCOACHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS. GO
Ben, Blake, Charles, Deryk, Jamie? Jared? Jeremy?, Nick
200
I have not filed a cancellation request, but I would like to cancel my services with you immediately!
What is "please file a cancellation request from your customer area"? (and walk them through the steps to do that)
200
Why is my website not loading?! I bought it an hour ago it should be up!
What is "propagation"?
300
My server is down and none of my websites are loading?
What is "have you tried turning it off and on again?"
300
I've had this chat for like 45 minutes and I'm not getting anywhere. What do I do?!?!
What is "contact your webcoach and start thinking about ticketing the issue"?
300
I am the most bro in the office.
What is "Barry Huehuehueghey"?
300
7:16:29 AM ChatSniped: {"staffId":"12354"} 7:16:29 AM System: AGENT has joined the chat! What should your first message to the customer be?
What is "Hi! Thank you for contacting Live Chat, my name is AGENT. How can I assist you today?"
300
Who are the two HR representatives in Austin?
Who are "April Mccalmont and Katherine Bugusky"?
400
My website is showing a 404 error on one of my pages. What happen?
What is "check the error log and see if the file is missing or has been renamed"
400
Error connecting to database? Does this mean my website is gone!?!?
What is "check database password and make sure that it coincides with the information in the CMS configuration file (such as wp-config.php)
400
A customer is requesting a backup restored IMMEDIATELY AS I AM LOSING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
What is "create a ticket to the restores queue"?
400
This customer is unable to verify by support code, or any of the other methods that we have listed as acceptable. What can I do?
What is "create a ticket for the customer and have them send in a scanned photo ID, and cross reference it with the information that we have on file"?
400
If a customer comes in to chat with an abuse issue, what do I do?
What is "let the customer know that all abuse issues must be dealt with the abuse team, and make sure that the customer has a ticket to the abuse team in the proper queue"?
500
My website is down and is showing a 500 error?!!
What is "check error log and .htaccess file for php issues"
500
My website is down, but all of my DNS is set properly in cpanel, and I'm current on payments!! Leaf DNS isnt showing anything at all
What is "check whois for status #clientHold and let the customer know that they need to verify the admin email authentication message sent from the registrar"?
500
PLEASE LET ME SPEAK WITH A MANAGER OR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING
What is "no"? (this is technically the correct answer, but the CORRECT answer is to try to de-escalate the situation and, if it is absolutely necessary, create a ticket to the management queue.)
500
WHATS FOR LUNCH TODAY AND WHEN DO I GO>!!1
What is "check inet, and monitor the watercooler chat room for the lunch call"?
500
ASO says that you take backups of all of your servers, why is there no backups there?!!?!?!
What is "17. Backup Services 17.1. Your use of A Small Orange's Services is at your sole risk. This service is provided to you as a courtesy. A Small Orange is not responsible for files and/or data residing on your account. You agree to take full responsibility for files and data transferred and to maintain all appropriate backup of files and data stored on A Small Orange's servers. Any and all backup services provided by A Small Orange, whether paid or not, are offered with no warranty or guarantee of their date, accuracy, and integrity."?
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