Four Colors
Describing a sensation in the body with the name of an emotion
What is sharing a feeling?
“You always make us late” is an example of what veil?
What is blame?
A beginner's tool that saves your dignity when you're tempted to say the thing you'll regret.
What is duct tape?
When you unload your emotions w/o permission or accountability. Pouring it all out without checking if the other person can receive it or handing someone your unprocessed feelings and expecting them to clean it up
What is dumping?
“Be ready for dinner at 6 pm” is an example of which of the male four colors?
What is directing?
Shared in advance because it's essential for your well-being or urgent, if unmet, there will be a consequence.
What is sharing a need?
“You are the worst listener when it comes to me or the kids” is an example of what veil?
What is criticism?
Revealing your heart without agenda-simply to release pressure, not to get a result. Sharing to be seen, not to steer.
What is sharing just to share?
A disrespectful way of expressing a desire; there's always a hidden gem of a desire inside if you look deeper
What is complaining?
“I want us all to eat healthier as a family” is an example of which of the male four colors?
What is leading?
Shared without demand or expectation, a want that would feel delightful to experience, but not essential for survival.
What is sharing a desire?
“If I was a better wife, maybe your mom would want to spend time with me” is an example of what veil?
What is self-judgment?
A subtle posture where expectation replaces appreciation, gifts turn into obligation and generosity can't breathe
What is entitlement?
Sharing a feeling that secretly holds someone else responsible?
What is not being accountable?
“You need to stop disrespecting me and tell me how you feel instead” is an example of which of the male four colors?
What is correcting?
Shared without offering the solution-to invite masculine thinking, leadership, contribution or partnerships instead of control
What is sharing a problem?
“You are lazy on the weekends” is an example of what veil?
What is judgment?
When your mind spins a dramatic tale to avoid feeling what your heart is actually feeling
What are stories?
When the heart's message gets veiled-turning vulnerability into attack and feelings are used to pierce rather than reveal. It creates defense instead of devotion; the listener stops listening and starts defending.
What is weaponizing feelings?
”I don’t trust that babysitter. I don’t want her watching our child”i san example of which of the male four colors?
What is judging?
"I feel afraid that I can’t get the house picked up before your parents come tomorrow and I don't know what to do" is expressing which two colors?
What is a feeling and a problem?
"You hurt me every time you hide out in your man cave" is an example of what veil?
What is victim talk?
When words feel stuck, this practice melts resistance by naming your discomfort out loud. It's a vulnerable reveal that sounds like, "This feels hard to say," or "I'm nervous to share this."
What is telling on yourself?
When vulnerability is acted, not embodied and used to influence instead of connect. Putting on the "look" of feminine energy while your ego quietly pulls the strings.
What is a feminine disguise?
“Forward me the email from the gardeners and I’ll handle getting them to do the landscaping” is an example of which two of the male four colors?
What are directing & leading?