Stages of Change
You are in this stage when you have been practicing a new behavior for 3-6 months, you are fully motivated, and on the right track for change.
What is Action Phase?
Name two benefits of using dialectics/dialectical thinking?
Dialectics can: improve communication, improve relationships, get "unstuck" in arguments, de-escalate conflict, etc.
What is intellectual/rational/reasonable mind?
True or False: There are some things in life that you cannot change. Sometimes it is best to accept that.
TRUE! When you stop fighting something that you cannot change, it can defuse intense emotions, and take away that "bitterness." (Rejecting reality can turn into suffering).
Potential barriers, support systems I can use, How will I measure the success of my change (how will I know my plan is working?), What microhabits could I implement?
This happens when you resort back to old behaviors, have a "slip up" and need to look into what may have triggered this.
What is a relapse?
A: "My mom is so strict. She never let's me do anything."
B: "Why is my life always so hard?"
C: "I am really struggling, and I'm trying hard to be better."
D: "I wish I could feel better, but I don't think it's possible."
C: "I am really struggling, and I'm trying hard to be better." (AND! not but)
What type of mind set is this person in? "I will never be able to figure this assignment out, I'm so stupid, and I'll never get a job and my life is basically over, why try?!"
What is emotional mind?
Name two things in your life that are a "rock problem," and two things in your life that are a "play-doh" problem.
Job situation, family members, friends, school, choices..
Draw a Venn diagram of Wise Mind and label it accordingly.
Rational,Wise,Emotion
This is when you are "testing the waters." You might be making plans & getting ready to make a change.
What is Preparation?
True or false: You can validate something that you do not agree with.
True: It is possible to validate a perspective that you do not agree with. In fact, this can be helpful in enhancing communication and building mutual respect.
For example "I can understand your point of view, you want to spend the night at your friend's house. At the same time, I don't agree that it is appropriate right now."
What mindset is this person using? "I feel upset about what happened. It was really hurtful. I can also see your perspective even though I can't agree with it."
What is wise mind?
Sally just got laid off from her job. She spends the next week crying, calling all her friends and complaining about her "stupid" boss. Sally is miserable.
How might Radical Acceptance help Sally?
If Sally accepts her reality, and realizes she cannot change the situation, she can move on and start looking for a new job.
Name two ideas that can be true at the same time. (Something Dialectical)
Could be anything. (My mom is strict and she cares about me.) (My homework is difficult and I can still get a good grade.)
"Ignorance is Bliss." A person in this phase might be in denial, rationalize behaviors, and not considering a change.
What is Pre-contemplation?
Change this into an "I feel" statement.
"You are so ungrateful! I always pick up your dirty dishes, drive you to your friend's house, even pay for your cell phone bill, it's all very exhausting. I'm done. You don't even care about this family."
Here is an example:
"I feel exhausted, because I notice that I am putting a lot of energy into helping you. Sometimes, I feel under-appreciated, and I would like to see more of an effort on your part. It would help me to feel better about our relationship."
This "mind set" is most likely to influence positive change and help you through recovery.
What is Wise Mind?
What of the following statements may be said by a person practicing Radical Acceptance?
A) Life is not fair, I did not deserve this.
B.) This can't be real.
C.) I will never get over this.
D.) It is what it is.
D. It is what it is!
Name one way to be productive after experiencing a lapse/relapse.
Name all six stages of change.
What is : Pre-Contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, Relapse (Relapse can happen at any stage)
Why is thinking with a Wise Mind helpful in making change?
Wise Mind keeps our emotions in check. It keeps us from acting impulsively (which may lead to a lapse). In Wise Mind, we also recognize the intellectual/factual side of an argument.
(Yes, intellectual/factual mind may be correct, but Emotional Mind needs to be soothed as well).
What are two things that may get in the way of fully embracing Radical Acceptance?
Some options: You may feel "passive" or that you have "Failed".
It's hard to accept something painful.
You may be stuck in emotion mind.
Denial.
Name two things you can do, to support someone who is in pre-contemplation or contemplation stage?
Validate them, Offer support, Encourage them to look at pros and cons of their decisions/behavior, Meet them where they are at.