It's red and bad for your teeth
What is a flying brick?
What has two legs but can’t walk?
Why don’t blind people skydive?
It scares their dogs
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision?
a rip-off
What is funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume
A can opener that doesn't work
What is a can't opener
What do you get when you throw a lot of books into the ocean?
A title wave
What gets wetter the more it dries?
a towel
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
He's all right now
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
when you jump on a trampoline, you take your shoes off
A fish with no eyes
What is a fsh?
What has four wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Where does a waitress with only one leg work?
IHOP
Why is the ocean so salty?
The land doesn't wave back
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
it was hit by a truck
What the fish said when he ran into a wall
What is dam?
Why wouldn't the motorcycle stand up?
It was two tired
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired
I asked Siri, "Why am I still single?"
What did Siri do?
Activated the front camera
What's the difference between a Ferarri and 100 dead babies?
-I don't have a Ferarri in my garage.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
a stick
When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
when it becomes apparent
Why is being married worse than having to go to work?
Because at least with work there's a chance you'll get a new boss.
How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?
With chips