Myths of anger
Myth #1
Myth #1: The Behavioral Expression of Anger Is Fixed and Cannot Be Changed
One misconception or myth about
anger is that the way people express anger is inherited and cannot be changed. Our facial
expressions and our nervous system’s response when we become angry are inherited, but what
we do next, our behavior, is learned. Because people are not born with set, specific ways of
expressing anger, it is possible to learn more appropriate ways of expressing anger. Similarly, it is
also possible to change the way your nervous system reacts after you get angry. You can learn to
calm down more quickly with practice.
Events that leads to anger is because of what?
because your interpretation of an event in your life has provoked your
anger. Many times, specific events touch on sensitive areas. These sensitive areas or “red flags”
usually refer to longstanding issues that can easily lead to anger. In addition to events that you
experience in the here and now, you may also recall an event from your past that made you
angry. Just thinking about these past events may make you angry now.
What is the purpose of the anger control plan?
anger control plans as their toolbox and
the specific strategies they use to control their anger as the tools in their toolbox
What is the aggression cycle?
An episode of anger can be viewed as consisting of three phases: buildup, explosion, and
aftermath. Together, these three phases make up the aggression cycle. The buildup phase
is characterized by cues that indicate anger is building. As you may recall, cues are warning
signs, or responses, to anger-related events. If the buildup phase is allowed to continue, the
explosion phase can follow. The explosion phase is marked by a discharge of anger that is
displayed as verbal or physical aggression. The aftermath phase is characterized by the negative
consequences that result from the verbal or physical aggression displayed during the explosion
phase. These consequences may include going to jail, making restitution, being terminated from
a job, being discharged from a drug treatment or social service program, losing family and loved
ones, or feelings of guilt, shame, and regret.
Myth #2
Myth #2: Anger Automatically Leads to Aggression.
A related myth involves the misconception
that the only effective way to express anger is through aggression. There are other more
constructive and assertive ways, however, to express anger. Effective anger management involves
controlling the escalation of anger by learning assertiveness skills, changing negative and hostile
thoughts or “self-talk,” challenging irrational beliefs, and employing a variety of behavioral
strategies. These skills, techniques, and strategies will be discussed in later sessions.
What are Physical Cues?
(how your body responds—with an increased heart rate, tightness in the chest,
feeling hot or flushed)
When can the skills of timeout be used and what is the skill used for?
Just as a sports team will call a timeout to regroup, you can use a timeout to collect yourself
or change the situation when you feel anger building. In its simplest form, a timeout means
taking a few deep breaths and thinking instead of reacting. It may also mean leaving the situation
that is causing the escalation or simply stopping the discussion that is provoking your anger.
You can develop a formal timeout policy that involves your relationships with family members,
friends, and coworkers. The formal use of a timeout involves having an agreement, or a
prearranged plan, by which any of the parties involved can call a timeout and to which all parties
have agreed in advance. The person calling the timeout can leave the situation, if necessary.
It is agreed, however, that he or she will return to either finish the discussion or postpone it,
depending on whether the parties involved feel they can successfully resolve the issue.
A timeout is important because it can be used effectively in the heat of the moment. Even if
a person’s anger is escalating quickly as measured on the anger meter, he or she can prevent
reaching 10 by taking a timeout and leaving the situation.
A timeout is also effective when used with other strategies. For example, you can take a timeout
and go for a walk. You can also take a timeout and call a trusted friend or family member or write
in your journal. These other strategies help you calm down during your timeout period.
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what is between the Buildup and aftermath
outburst
Myth #3
Myth #3: You Must Be Aggressive To Get What You Want.
Many people confuse assertiveness
with aggression. The goal of aggression is to dominate, intimidate, harm, or injure another
person—to win at any cost. Conversely, the goal of assertiveness is to express feelings of anger
in a way that is respectful of other people. Expressing yourself in an assertive manner does not
blame or threaten other people and minimizes the chance of emotional harm.
What are your emotional cues?
(other feelings that may occur along with anger—fear, hurt, jealousy, disrespect)
What is social support?
An important part of your anger control plan can be social support. We all need support at
different times in our lives to help us reach our goals and deal successfully with challenges that
come our way. Having a network of people who understand and support your efforts to change
can be extremely helpful. You should seek support and feedback from family members and
people you trust, including members of 12-Step groups, 12-Step sponsors, or other mutualhelp group members. A social support action plan that you develop yourself may help you
follow through with seeking social support.
Buildup symptoms?
increased heart rate
• flushed, hot
• clenched fists
• pacing back and forth
• feelings that underlie anger
• hostile thoughts and
self-talk
• fantasies, images
Myth #4
Myth #4: Venting Anger Is Always Desirable.
For many years, there was a popular belief that the
aggressive expression of anger, such as screaming or beating on pillows, was healthy and therapeutic.
Research studies have found, however, that people who vent their anger aggressively simply get better at
being angry. In other words, venting anger in an aggressive manner reinforces aggressive behavior.
What are behavioral cues?
(what you do—clench your fists, raise your voice, stare at others)
Types of social support
Explosion symptoms?
verbal aggression
destructiveness
violence
What is the anger Meter?
A simple way to monitor your anger is to use a 1-to-10 scale called the anger meter. A score of
1 on the anger meter represents a complete lack of anger or a total state of calm, whereas 10
represents an angry and explosive loss of control that leads to negative consequences.
What are Cognitive Cues?
(what you think about in response to the event—hostile self-talk, images of
aggression and revenge)
What do you focus on during the relaxation exercise that was introduced in this chapter?
breathing
Aftermath symptoms?
fired from job
kicked out of
treatment
financial costs, loss of family, friends
jail
guilt, shame