Guess the Thinking Trap
Tomorrow is going to be terrible!
This is called Future Telling. We cannot predict the future. Tomorrow could be terrible or it could be great. Instead of assuming we know the future, let's live in the moment.
My mom doesn't love me. And since I feel like it's true, it must be true.
This is an example of Feeling as Fact. Just because we think or feel that something is true, doesn't make it true. Our thoughts and feelings are not a true representation of reality. A better thought could be: "I feel unloved by Mom right now, which makes me feel sad and hurt. But I know that just because I feel unloved doesn't mean she actually doesn't love me. It's just a temporary emotion that I have."
Sadness
This is a feeling! Answer for extra points: What is an action someone might do when they feel sad?
What is the first question you should ask yourself when challenging a thought?
Is my thought true?
When we are really upset it's hard to think clearly or challenge our thoughts. What's a coping skill we can use to calm ourselves down to help us think clearer?
Deep breaths, 5-4-3-2-1, squeezing muscles, drawing, reading, doing something physical.
When I walked into class everyone looked at me. They were probably thinking my outfit is ugly.
This is an example of Mind Reading. We assume we know what everyone is thinking when in reality, we have no idea. Maybe they didn't like your outfit or maybe they were thinking they did like your outfit. Or maybe they didn't think of your outfit at all but just looked at you when you came into the classroom because the door made a loud noise and startled everyone.
It is my fault that my parents got divorced.
This is an example of self-blame. Assuming that we are at fault in a situation that probably has nothing to do with us. As humans we tend to think everything is about us because we are the main character of our own story. But everyone else is the main character of their own story, which means other people don't think about us as much as we think they do and other people's situations don't involve us as much we think they do.
Pushing your sibling
This is an action! Answer for extra points: What is a feeling you might have if you decide to push your sibling?
What is the second question you should ask yourself when challenging a thought?
Is this thought helpful?
If we decide a thought isn't helpful or true, how can we help ourselves not think about it anymore?
My friend hasn't talked to me all morning. I think she's mad at me and doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
This is an example of Jumping to Conclusions because there isn't sufficient evidence that your friend is mad at you. There could be lots of reasons why your friend hasn't talked to you this morning. Try to name three alternative reasons for why your friend is quiet this morning. This could also be considered Mind Reading or self-blame and points can be awarded for it as well.
I shouldn't have made so many mistakes.
This is considered a "should" statement. Which is when you tell yourself that life events, people's behavior or your own attitude should be the way you expect them to be and not as they really are. Life doesn't always go as planned or how we expected it to go. Rather than constantly saying something should have been different, we should work on accepting things as they are.
You should yell!
This is a thought! It's confusing because it's a thought about an action, but not the action itself. Answer for extra points: what is a feeling you might have if you are having this thought?
What is a strategy you can use to help yourself find out if your thought is true or not?
The evidence for and the evidence against. If you didn't get this right, explain what this strategy is and if you explain it right you will still get the points!
Why does breathing help us calm down? Be specific.
Our heart rate rises when we are upset or stressed. Breathing slows our heart rate, helping us to relax.
After winning a soccer game where your teammates tell you that you played well, you think to yourself, "I can't believe I missed two goals! I played terribly!"
This is considered Ignoring the Good. We know your teammates thought you played well, but instead of thinking about your mistakes as well as your good plays, you think only about your mistakes. Instead of judging yourself fairly, you are judging yourself only by the mistakes you made, which isn't a fair evaluation.
My dad is late to pick me up from school. He probably got into a car accident and is in the hospital. What if he dies?
This is considered Worst Case Scenario. These scenarios are so unlikely to ever happen that they aren't worth worrying about. They trigger anxiety and stress usually for no reason. If the worst case scenario ever does happen to you, your future self can deal with it. But you don't need to worry about it beforehand. It doesn't help anything.
I feel guilty.
This is a thought! It's a thought about a feeling, but it's not a feeling.
How can you help yourself figure out if a thought is helpful or not?
You should ask yourself: how does this thought make me feel? And when I have this thought and feeling what action do I usually do? Is that action helpful or not? Then you have your answer.
How can you reframe this thought to be more true and/or more helpful? After receiving her report card Sally felt disappointed with her science grades. She thought to herself: "I am the worst student in the entire world."
First, we want to ask ourselves if this thought is true. Is she the worst student in the world? Can she really know that? Has she asked every student in the entire world what their grades are? Probably not. So She can't know for sure that she's the worst student in the world, which means we aren't sure this is true. Another way to find out if a thought is true is to ask ourselves what the evidence is. What evidence does she have that she's the worst student in the world? Evidence for: her science grades. Evidence against: she does well in English. She does well on some science tests. She does okay in math. So therefore, she can't be the worst student in the world. What's a more truthful thought? Maybe, "I'm struggling with science right now and it's making me feel frustrated." Do you see how that's a more true thought?
After getting a bad math grade you think to yourself: "I am the stupidest person in the entire world."
This is an example of All or Nothing thinking, which means you think in extremes. Everything is either all good or all bad and nothing in between. But that's not really how the world works, right? Most things tend to be somewhere in the middle rather than an extreme. Instead of saying something extreme like "I'm the stupidest person in the entire world" we could think: "Math is not my strongest subject. Sometimes I do poorly on tests and sometimes I do okay." or "I have difficulties in math, but I'm decent at science." Jumping to Conclusions could also fit here.
This is considered blaming someone else unnecessarily. Sure, maybe our mom has done something that has upset or disappointed us. But there's a lot that we have control over. And sometimes we blame our problems on someone else rather than dealing with it ourselves. Maybe instead of blaming mom for the reason why we don't have more friends, we could consider other reasons for why we don't have friends.
Crying
Our thoughts, feelings and actions are all connected. Give an example from your own life of how your thought impacted your feeling and then your feeling impacted your behavior.
Great job!
How can you reframe this thought to be more true and/or helpful? Jessica told Sally at school that she doesn't like her. Sally had the thought: "No one likes me."