Relational Aggression
A group of friends suddenly stops talking to Lily, and when she asks why, they say, "You should know." What type of relational aggression is this?
Silent Treatment and Isolation
Isla tells her friends not to talk to Jordan anymore because Jordan embarrassed her in class. Normal Conflict or RA and why?
Yes, relational aggression – Isla is trying to control her friends and isolate Jordan.
Scenario: Olivia finds out that Sophia has been spreading rumors about her. Response: Olivia writes a mean note back to Sophia and passes it around. Is this the best response? why or why not?
No – This continues the cycle of aggression. A better response is to talk directly to Sophia or tell a trusted adult.
During recess, Hannah tells Mia, "You can't play with us today, we already have a group." What type of behavior is this and why is it harmful?
Exclusion. It makes Mia feel left out and unimportant.
What strategy can you use to communicate that your feelings are hurt?
Use an “I feel” statement, like “I feel upset when I am left out.”
What is a common reason someone might use relational aggression?
To feel powerful or stay in a friend group.
Ellie gets mad at Hazel and tells another friend, "Don’t tell Hazel my secrets anymore, I don’t trust her right now." Normal Conflict or RA and why?
Not relational aggression – Setting a personal boundary isn’t the same as excluding someone.
Scenario: Lily’s friends start ignoring her and won’t tell her why. Response: Lily asks one of them privately, "Did I do something to upset you?". Is this the best response? Why or Why not?
Yes – She is addressing the issue calmly and privately instead of reacting with anger.
At lunch, Ava starts a rumor that Lily cheated on a test so people won’t want to sit with her. What type of behavior is this and why is it harmful?
Gossip/Spreading Rumors. It damages Lily’s reputation and can make her feel lonely or embarrassed.
Why is using "I feel" statements helpful in a conflict?
It helps express emotions without blaming the other person.
True or False: RA is bullying and why?
True! Relational aggression is a form of bullying because it involves intentionally harming others through social or emotional means.
A group of girls sends mean texts about another girl in a group chat, making fun of her clothes. Normal Conflict or RA and why?
Yes, relational aggression – This is cyberbullying and social exclusion.
Scenario: Emma overhears a group of girls laughing at Ava’s outfit. Response: Emma says loudly, "You guys are so mean!" and walks away. Is this the best response? Why or why not?
No – While standing up for others is good, calling them out aggressively may cause more drama. A better response would be to support Ava directly or say, “I like Ava’s outfit!” to change the tone.
Olivia and Sophia used to be best friends. Now, Sophia ignores Olivia completely and tells other girls not to talk to her either. What type of behavior is this and why is it hamful?
Silent Treatment & Social Manipulation. It isolates Olivia and pressures others to pick sides.
Name three ways to de-escalate a conflict with a friend.
Take deep breaths, listen to their side, suggest a compromise.
A girl tells her friend that she will not be friends with her anymore if she keeps sitting at lunch with another person. What type of behavior is this?
Manipulation
Nina tells her friend, "If you don’t stop being friends with Zoe, I won’t be your friend anymore." Normal conflict or RA and why?
Yes, relational aggression – Nina is using manipulation to control friendships.
Scenario: Mia’s best friend tells her, “If you talk to Chloe, I won’t be your friend anymore.” Response: Mia says, "I can be friends with both of you, and I don’t want to pick sides." Is this the best response? Why or why not?
Yes – She is setting a clear boundary and not allowing manipulation.
A group of girls rates everyone’s outfits at lunch and whispers about who looks “cool” and who doesn’t. What behaviors are these and why are they harmful?
Judgment & Social Ranking. It makes some people feel self-conscious and lowers their confidence.
What are three ways to make your school a safer, kinder place?
Be friendly to everyone, include new people, and stop gossip.
A friend gets her test back and a friend peaks over her shoulder and looks at her grade. The friend says "Wow, you are SO lucky your parents do not care if you get bad grades." What type of RA behavior is this?
Backhanded Compliment
Sarah doesn’t invite Ava to her sleepover because they aren’t close friends. Normal conflict or RA and why?
Not relational aggression – People don’t have to invite everyone to everything.
Scenario: Isabella hears a false rumor about her spreading in school. Response: She confronts the person in front of everyone and yells, “Why are you lying about me?!” Is this the best response? Why or why not?
No – While standing up for yourself is important, yelling in public may escalate things. A better response is to talk privately or seek support from a teacher or counselor.
At recess, Sophia’s friends tell her she must steal a soccer ball from another group if she wants to stay in their friend group. What behavior is this and why is it harmful?
Peer Pressure & Manipulation. It forces someone to do something wrong to feel accepted.
True or False: Standing up for others can make a big difference.
True, it can stop bullying and help others feel safe.