Communication
This communication style involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly while respecting the other person.
What is assertive communication?
True or false: Healthy boundaries can exist in romantic relationships, friendships, and families.
True
Your partner supports your friendships, hobbies, and interests outside the relationship. Red flag or green flag?
🟢 Green flag.
True or false: Conflict automatically means a relationship is unhealthy.
False.
Trust is usually built through repeated ______ over time.
What is consistency / reliable behavior?
“I feel ignored when I’m talking and you’re looking at your phone” is an example of this communication technique.
What is an “I” statement?
A boundary primarily communicates what this person will do rather than controlling another person's behavior.
Who is yourself?
Someone repeatedly checks their partner's phone, location, or messages because “If you have nothing to hide, it shouldn't matter.” Red or green flag?
🚩 Red flag — controlling behavior/lack of trust.
When emotions become too intense to communicate effectively, temporarily stepping away to regulate yourself is called this.
What is a time-out / therapeutic pause?
True or false: Forgiving someone requires allowing them back into your life.
False.
Repeating back or summarizing what someone said before responding is a skill known as this.
What is active listening / reflective listening?
“You need to stop yelling at me” becomes a clearer boundary when changed to: “If you yell at me, ______.”
What is “I will end/pause the conversation until we can speak calmly.”
After hurting you, someone says, “I'm sorry you're upset, but you know how sensitive you are.” What important element of a healthy apology is missing?
What is accountability/ownership?
Bringing up five unrelated mistakes from someone's past during today's disagreement is sometimes called this communication problem.
What is kitchen sinking?
Assuming “They're not texting me because they're losing interest” without evidence demonstrates this CBT thinking error.
What is mind reading / jumping to conclusions?
During an argument, someone says, “Whatever. Do whatever you want,” even though they are clearly upset. This communication style expresses negative feelings indirectly rather than openly.
What is passive-aggressive communication?
A friend repeatedly calls late at night after you've asked them not to. You continue answering every time but become increasingly resentful. What important part of boundary-setting is missing?
What is follow-through / enforcement?
A relationship goes through a difficult period, but both people can discuss problems, acknowledge their role, make changes, and reconnect afterward. This ability is known as ______.
What is repair?
You realize halfway through an argument that you misunderstood the situation and were wrong. What is the healthiest response?
Acknowledge the mistake, take responsibility, apologize if appropriate, and focus on repairing the interaction.
Explain the difference between chemistry and compatibility.
Chemistry involves attraction and emotional connection; compatibility involves how well people's needs, values, lifestyles, expectations, and goals fit together.
Your partner says, “I’ve been overwhelmed lately, and it feels like you haven't noticed.” Instead of defending yourself, give an example of a validating response.
“I can understand why that would make you feel alone. I haven't been as attentive as I should have been.”
What is the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum?
A boundary identifies what you need and what action you will take to protect your well-being, while an ultimatum is generally designed to force another person's behavior through a demand or threat.
True or false: Loving someone and having strong chemistry with them means the relationship is healthy and compatible. Explain your answer.
False. Love and attraction can exist even when there are significant problems with compatibility, trust, communication, values, safety, or emotional health.
Two people keep arguing about dishes. One says, “You never help me,” while the other says, “Nothing I do is good enough for you.” What deeper issues might actually be underneath the surface argument?
Answers may include feeling unappreciated, unheard, rejected, overwhelmed, inadequate, unsupported, or taken for granted.
Someone repeatedly seeks reassurance that their partner isn't leaving, becomes highly distressed by perceived distance, and interprets small changes in communication as rejection. This relationship pattern may be associated with what attachment style?
What is anxious attachment?