Communication
This is when you pay close attention to what someone is saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.
Active listening
A healthy relationship should have plenty of this: treating another person as valuable and worthy of consideration.
Respect
This part of emotional intelligence involves recognizing and understanding your own emotions.
Self-Awareness
True or False: Tone and body language can be difficult to understand through text messages.
True
Someone respects your “no,” listens when you speak, and supports your friendships. Is this a red flag or a green flag?
Green
Instead of saying, “You never listen to me!”, you say, “I feel frustrated when I don't feel heard.” What type of statement is this?
An "I-Statement"
True or False: Being in a relationship means you should spend all of your free time with that person.
False. Healthy relationships allow people to maintain friendships, hobbies, interests, and personal space.
You're angry, but instead of immediately yelling, you pause, take a breath, and choose how you want to respond. What emotional intelligence skill are you using?
Self-Regulation
You receive an angry text from someone. Before responding, you decide to wait until you're calm rather than replying immediately. Why might this be a good idea?
It gives you time to regulate your emotions and reduces the chance of escalating the conflict.
Your partner constantly demands to know where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. They become angry when you don't answer immediately. Red flag or green flag?
Red - Controlling
Your friend tells you they had a terrible day. You immediately say, “Well, my day was even worse!” What communication mistake are you making?
Turning the conversation back to yourself / not listening.
Your partner says, “I don't want to go to the party tonight.” You may be disappointed, but you accept their decision without pressuring them. What important relationship concept are you demonstrating?
Respecting Boundaries
You notice your friend is unusually quiet and realize they may be upset, even though they haven't said anything. What emotional intelligence skill are you using?
Empathy/Social Awareness
Someone posts, “Some people really need to grow up” immediately after having an argument with a friend. The friend knows the post is about them. What type of online conflict behaviour is this?
Indirect posting/passive-aggressive social media behaviour?
A friend makes a mistake, takes responsibility, apologizes, and changes their behaviour afterward. Red flag or green flag?
Green flag! Accountability and willingness to change are healthy relationship behaviours.
You're having an argument. Your heart is racing, you're getting angry, and you know you're about to say something you'll regret. What is the healthiest communication strategy?
- Ask for a break
- Pause/Stop Breathe
Name three things that are commonly found in a healthy relationship.
Examples include: trust, respect, communication, honesty, boundaries, support, equality, independence, empathy, and safety.
Someone criticizes you. Your first reaction is to become defensive, but you pause and think, “Why did that comment bother me so much?” What skill are you demonstrating?
Self-awareness and Emotional regulation
A friend posts a photo of you without asking. You don't like that the photo was posted. What is a healthy way to handle the situation?
Talk to the person directly, explain how you feel, and respectfully ask them to remove the photo if appropriate.
Your partner says, “If you really loved me, you'd give me your phone password.” What red flag might this statement demonstrate?
Red- Manipulation and Controlling. (Love does not require you to give up privacy)
Two people disagree about where to spend the evening. Sidney wants to stay home, while Cece wants to go out. Instead of one person getting their way, they discuss both needs and find an option they can both accept. What communication skill are they demonstrating?
Compromise and/or problem-solving.
Your friend says, “My partner gets upset whenever I hang out with other people. They say that if I really loved them, I wouldn't need anyone else.” What would be the healthiest advice?
Healthy relationships allow outside friendships and independence. Love should not require isolation from other people. Encourage your friend to recognize the controlling behaviour and maintain supportive connections.
Your friend is angry at you. You disagree with their perspective of what happened, but instead of immediately defending yourself, you say, “I can see why that situation made you feel hurt. Can we talk about what happened?” What combination of skills are you demonstrating?
Empathy, active listening, emotional regulation, and effective communication.
You're in an argument with someone. You are tempted to screenshot your private conversation and send it to five friends so they can “take your side.” What are two possible problems with doing this?
It can violate the other person's privacy and escalate the conflict. It can also create more drama, damage trust, and involve people who aren't part of the original conflict.
Your friend says:
"They constantly criticize me, check my phone, get jealous when I see my friends, apologize afterward, and promise they'll never do it again. Then it happens again.”
Name at least three red flags in this situation.