Intent vs impact/Mental flexibility
T or F - Sometimes our impact doesn't match our intent, even when we have good intentions
True
What are three skills to maintain a conversation?
What is (any of these accepted)
Listening closely, Staying positive, Showing you're listening with verbal/nonverbal cues, Asking open-ended questions, Using Say 3 and See rule, Giving a compliment, Sharing opinions respectfully, Being friendly
What is the difference between on-the-mark and off-the mark thinking?
Off-the-mark thinking -> negative emotions; not helpful; unrealistic
On-the-mark thinking ->positive emotions; more helpful; more balanced/realistic thinking
Name three places where you might feel anxiety in your body
Your head (dizzy), palms sweating, your heart (fast heart beat), your stomach (stomach aches)
What are 3 sources of self esteem?
Thoughts about ourself
Feedback from others
Events that happen to us
What mental flexibility?
Adapt, try something new, bend don't break, shift gears, go with the flow Let it go, accept change, move on, switch to plan B
What is the Say 3 and See rule?
What is after you say three sentences, let others think about what you have said and respond. (+ finish with a reciprocal question!)
How does All-or-Nothing Think?
What is thinking in extremes; never/always, perfect, failure
Name three ways you might feel anger in your body
What is your fists, loud voice, your jaw, etc
True or False: In order to be assertive, you have to feel confident
False
How does being mentally flexible help us in our relationships with others?
Helps us...
Cooperate, Collaborate, Compromise, Get along better with others
What are three examples of nonverbal communication?
What is (any accepted)
Smiling, Turning body toward person, Good eye contact, Friendly tone of voice
Name three of the thinking errors we discussed
What is (all accepted)
Shoulds, Catastrophizing, All-or-Nothing, "It's Not Fair!", Filtering, Blaming Others, Personalization
What are three anxiety coping skills?
What is (any accepted)
Take deep belly breaths, Squeeze then relax muscles (progressive muscle relaxation), Think happy thoughts, Take a break or rest, etc
What does it mean to respond neutrally to a bully?
To act like you don't care
Come up with an example of intending to do something good that does not have the same impact
What is making a joke that sounds like an insult (other examples accepted)
What are two things you can do to start a conversation?
What is
1) Compliment them (not too many times)
2) Ask relevant open-ended questions, eg. "What do you like to do for fun?" (not too many at once)
What thinking trap does this describe: "She must not like me because she didn't say hi to me in the hallway"
Personalization
Name one coping thought you could use to help you get through a scary time.
What is "I can handle this", "Stay calm", "I can get through this", "It probably won't be that bad"
Explain what it means to define success based on "effort" vs "outcome". Which is better for our self esteem?
Effort = amount of work put in regardless of outcome
Outcome = how it turned out regardless of effort
upsetting to others; makes others not want to spend time with you
Act it Out! Role play a scenario of how to maintain a conversation.
(Remember to enter and exit the conversation appropriately)
What thinking trap is this? "What if I never make friends ever again?"
catastrophic thinking
Name two ways to cope with anger and give an example for each
1) Relaxation strategies / calm your body
2) Positive self-talk
Give an example of an "I" Statement one could use if a friend is being too bossy
what is “I feel _________ when you ________. Please __________”