Self Compassion
What is self-compassion?
-being a good friend to ourselves
-being an inner ally to ourselves
-being caring and accepting of ourselves when we make a mistake
-recognizing that it's entirely human to be imperfect
What are the stages of change?
1. pre-contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance
What does ACCEPTS stand for?
A - Activities
C-Contributing
C-Comparisons
E- Opposite Emotions
P-Pushing Away/put it on a shelf
T- Thoughts
S- Sensations
Can we feel and identify multiple emotions at the same time?
Yes
What are some tools that are helpful to stop ruminating/worrying?
- mindfulness
-5-4-3-2-1
-work on something cognitively stimulating: crossword puzzle, sudoku, etc
-count backwards from 100 by 7s
What is the name of the Ted Talk presenter we watched?
Kristen Neff
How does change happen?
-it can happen because we choose to make a different choice
-it can be chosen for us
-natural progression
What is an example of the E in ACCEPTS?
-feeling sad -- watch a comedy
-feeling angry -- listen to calming music
-feeling afraid -- call a friend
Do we always need to behaviorally respond to our emotions?
No
What is the difference between rumination and worrying?
rumination: repetitive & passive thought process that is past-focused
worrying: negative thought process that is present and future focused
What are some self compassion activities you can do to increase self-compassion?
-compassion thought diary
-self compassion letter
-hand over heart
-saying daily mantras/affirmations
-practicing mindfulness
Do we always cycle through the stages of change in the same order?
No, they are not always done in order.
What is WISE MIND?
seeing the value of both reason and emotion
What are some questions we can ask ourselves when "checking the facts?"
1. Does my emotion and/or it's intensity fit the facts?
2. If the worse outcome does occur, what are the realistic consequences?
3. What are my interpretations and assumptions about the event?
4. What is the emotion I want to change?
Are rumination and worrying solution-oriented?
no
What are the three components of self compassion?
clue: _______ vs. _________
self-kindness vs. self-judgment
common humanity vs. isolation
mindfulness vs. over-identification
If someone is in the 2nd stage of change, what might they be doing/thinking/feeling?
-awareness of potential benefits of change
-acknowledgement of problems
-identifying pros and cons
-possible ambivalence, fear, uncertainty
What does ACCEPTS help with?
it helps you tolerate your distress until the appropriate time to resolve the situation
What are some tools that we can use to emotionally regulate?
- go for a walk
-mediate
-breathe
-STOP
What is problem-solving?
an active, constructive thought process that is solution-focused rather than problem-focused.
What impact do shame and stigma have on our well-being?
-can make it more difficult to connect with other people
-can increase avoidance and isolation
-increase negative self-talk/self-image
What is a key component in assessing our readiness to make a change?
motivation!
answers will vary, but here are some examples:
1. Imagine your significant other no longer wishes to be in a relationship with you because they have fallen in love with someone else. Your emotional mind might tell you to react angrily and lash out at them for betraying your trust and love.
Your reasonable mind may tell you to remain calm and walk away with dignity.
A wise mind would suggest constructively expressing your anger, heartbreak, confusion, and frustration by making an appointment with a therapist or speaking to a lawyer.
What are some questions we can ask ourselves when difficult emotions arise?
2. What is happening in my body or where am I feeling this in my body?
3. Which of my needs is not being met or addressed?
4.
What are some helpful tips to remember when problem-solving?
-write things down
-come up with multiple solutions
-deal with one problem at a time
-give yourself time