Vocabulary
Redundancy/Redundant/Repetitive
The repetition of ideas or information.
Internal Responses
Character responses that other characters cannot see (thoughts/feelings)
"The school library is my favorite place to study. The library has large windows that let in natural light. The windows were installed during the school renovation last year. The comfortable chairs make it easy to focus on homework. The chairs are covered in blue fabric. The librarian always keeps the room at the perfect temperature."
Which sentence should be removed to improve clarity?
a. The first sentence about the library
b. The sentence about the window installation
c. The sentence about the comfortable chairs
d. The sentence about the temperature
b. The sentence about the window installation
"The city park is a wonderful place for exercise. The park has a paved walking trail. The trail was repaved last spring by the city workers. Many people jog there in the mornings. The mornings are usually quiet and peaceful. The drinking fountains along the trail are convenient."
Which sentence should be removed to improve clarity?
a. The first sentence about the park
b. The sentence about when the trail was repaved
c. The sentence about people jogging
d. The sentence about the drinking fountains
b. The sentence about when the trail was repaved
Read this paragraph:
"Our class field trip was educational. We visited the science center downtown. Downtown has many tall buildings. The exhibits taught us about space. We learned about the solar system. The gift shop had interesting souvenirs."
Which sentence is irrelevant to the main focus?
a. The first sentence about the field trip
b. The sentence about tall buildings
c. The sentence about space exhibits
d. The sentence about the solar system
b. The sentence about tall buildings
Revise
To review and make changes to improve clarity and effectiveness of writing.
External Responses
Character responses that other characters can see (words/actions)
"Making a sandwich is easy. First, gather your ingredients. Bread is the most important ingredient. Put meat and cheese on one slice of bread. The cheese should be sliced thinly. Add lettuce and tomato. Finally, top with the second slice of bread."
Which sentence could be removed without affecting the instructions?
a. "Making a sandwich is easy."
b. "First, gather your ingredients."
c. "Bread is the most important ingredient."
d. "Finally, top with the second slice of bread."
c. "Bread is the most important ingredient."
"Basketball is an exciting sport to watch. The players on our school team are very talented. There are twelve players on the team roster. They practice every day after school. The school gym was built in 1985. Our team has won five games this season."
Which sentence is least necessary for the paragraph's clarity?
a. The first sentence about basketball
b. The sentence about winning games
c. The sentence about daily practice
d. The sentence about the gym's construction
d. The sentence about the gym's construction
Read these sentences:
"The winter storm was severe. The storm brought heavy snow."
Which revision best combines these sentences while maintaining clarity?
a. Keep both sentences as they are
b. Remove the second sentence completely
c. Remove the first sentence completely
d. "The severe winter storm brought heavy snow."
d. "The severe winter storm brought heavy snow."
Thesis/Topic Sentence
A sentence that expresses the main idea of the text.
The 6 Plot Elements
Exposition, conflict, rising action, climax, falling action, & resolution
"The basketball game was exciting. The game was played in our school gymnasium."
Which revision best combines these sentences while maintaining clarity?
a. Keep both sentences as they are
b. Remove the second sentence completely
c. Remove the first sentence completely
d. "The exciting basketball game was played in our school gymnasium."
d. "The exciting basketball game was played in our school gymnasium."
Read this sentence pair:
"The museum exhibit was fascinating. The exhibit featured dinosaur fossils."
Which revision best combines these sentences while maintaining clarity?
a. Keep both sentences as they are
b. Remove the second sentence completely
c. Remove the first sentence completely
d. "The fascinating museum exhibit featured dinosaur fossils."
d. "The fascinating museum exhibit featured dinosaur fossils."
Read this paragraph:
"The school cafeteria serves healthy lunches. The lunch menu changes daily. The cafeteria workers arrive early each morning. The tables are arranged in long rows. The rows make it easy for students to sit together. The food is always served hot."
Which sentence could be removed without losing essential information?
a. The first sentence about healthy lunches
b. The sentence about the menu
c. The sentence about tables in rows
d. The sentence about hot food
c. The sentence about tables in rows
Clarity
The quality of being clear and easy to understand in writing.
Primary/Main/Central
The main/#1
"The art museum was fascinating. The museum building was designed by a famous architect. We saw many interesting paintings. The paintings were hung on white walls."
Which sentence provides unnecessary detail?
a. The first sentence
b. The sentence about the architect
c. The sentence about seeing paintings
d. The sentence about white walls
d. The sentence about white walls
"My grandmother's garden is beautiful. She grows many types of flowers. Flowers need lots of sunlight to grow. The roses are her favorite plants. She waters the garden every morning. The water comes from her rain barrel."
Which sentence can be eliminated without affecting the main idea?
a. The opening sentence about the garden
b. The sentence about roses
c. The sentence about flowers needing sunlight
d. The sentence about watering
c. The sentence about flowers needing sunlight
Read this paragraph:
"Swimming is great exercise. The community pool is open year-round. The pool was renovated two years ago. The water is always kept at 82 degrees. Many people swim laps in the morning."
Which sentence provides unnecessary background information?
a. The first sentence about swimming
b. The sentence about the pool being open
c. The sentence about the renovation
d. The sentence about the water temperature
c. The sentence about the renovation
Supporting Detail
A sentence that provides evidence or elaboration to the main idea.
Develop the Plot
Move the plot/story forward
"Soccer is my favorite sport. I play on the school team. Our team practices every Tuesday and Thursday. Practice starts at 3:30 PM. We do warm-up exercises first. The exercises help prevent injuries."
Which sentence could be removed without losing important information?
a. "Soccer is my favorite sport."
b. "I play on the school team."
c. "Practice starts at 3:30 PM."
d. "The exercises help prevent injuries."
c. "Practice starts at 3:30 PM."
Read these sentences:
"The new computer lab is impressive. The lab has thirty computers. The computers were installed by technicians last month. Students use them for research projects."
Which revision best combines two of these sentences while maintaining clarity?
a. Keep all sentences as they are
b. "The new computer lab has thirty computers that were installed last month."
c. Remove the sentence about technicians completely
d. Remove the sentence about student use
b. "The new computer lab has thirty computers that were installed last month."
Read these sentences:
"The school play was a success. The students performed wonderfully."
Which revision best combines these sentences while maintaining clarity?
a. Keep both sentences as they are
b. Remove the second sentence completely
c. Remove the first sentence completely
d. "The students performed wonderfully in the successful school play."
d. "The students performed wonderfully in the successful school play."