:)
Why did I go golfing with two pairs of pants on?
Just in case I get a hole in 1.
Spelled forwards I'm what you do everyday, spelled backwards I'm something you hate. What am I?
LIVE/EVIL?
A man kills his wife and hides the body in some bushes. The next day the police call and say his wife has been murdered and tells the man to go to the crime scene right away. As soon as the man gets there he is arrested. Why?
THE POLICE NEVER TOLD HIM THE LOCATION OF THE CRIME SCENE?
A woman and 9 friends are under ONE umbrella. But nobody gets wet. Why?
IT WASN´T RAINING
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood. Everyone uses me, what am I?
A PENCIL?
What word is always pronounced wrong?
WRONG
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
Because she likes to rock and roll.
What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?
YOUR NAME
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
YOUR BREATH
What turns everything around but does not move?
A MIRROR
What question can you never honestly say yes to?
"ARE YOU ASLEEP?"
Mr. Red lives in the red house. Mr. Blue lives in the blue house. Mrs. Pink lives in the pink house. Who lives in the white house?
JOE BIDEN
If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you won't have me. What am I?
A SECRET
Those who have it least don't know that they have it. Those who have it most wish they had less of it, but not too little or none at all. What is it?
AGE?
A bus driver goes the wrong way on a one way street. He passes the cops but they don't stop him. Why?
BECAUSE HE WAS WALKING?