Funny
What can you put in a bucket to make it weigh less?
a hole
What has to be broken before you can use it?
an egg
What word is pronounced the same if you take away four of its five letters?
Queue
Two fathers and two sons are in a car, yet there are only three people in the car. How?
They are grandfather, father, and son.
What thrives when you feed it but dies when you water it?
A fire
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
a teapot
What can you catch but never throw?
A cold
What can fill a room but takes up no space?
Light
A man goes outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat but doesn't get a single hair on his head wet. How?
He's bald.
What belongs to you but is used by everyone you meet?
Your name
Where is the only place where today comes before yesterday?
The dictionary
What's always found on the ground but never gets dirty?
A shadow
What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it?
Silence
Two people are born at the same moment, but they don't have the same birthdays. How?
Answer: They were born in different time zones.
What never walks but always runs?
A river
Who has married many people but has never been married himself?
a priest
What's always running but never gets hot?
A refrigerator.
What is taken before you can get it?
A picture
Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
Nothing
What's lighter than a feather but impossible to hold for much more than a minute?
Your Breath
What has 13 hearts but no other organs?
A deck of cards.
What has many keys but cannot open a single lock?
A piano
What do you buy to eat but never consume?
Cutlery
Whoever makes it doesn't tell. Whoever takes it doesn't know. Whoever knows it doesn't want. What is it?
Counterfeit money
What makes more as you take them?
Footsteps