holidays
How does the Easter Bunny paint all the Easter eggs?
He hires Santa's elves during the off season.
why couldn't Goldilocks sleep?
because of nightbears
before mount Everest was discovered what was the tallest mountain?
mount Everest
what do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef
David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and ______?
david
what is the best gift you can get?
a broken drum you just cant beat it
who always enjoys poor health?
a doctor
what has a head a tail is brown and has no legs?
a penny
why did the duck cross the road?
to prove he wasn't a chicken
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
an apple a day keeps the doctor away
a skeleton walks into a restaurant then places a order. what was it?
spare ribs
What did the scientist get when he crossed a chicken and a cow?
roost beef
Imagine you are in an empty room with no windows or doors and no way out what do you do?
Stop imagining
how do make holy water
you boil the bad spirts
You can carry it everywhere you go, and it does not get heavy. What is it?
your name
what did the vampire say to the snowman?
you got a frost bite
You are a bus driver at a station. 10 get on the bus and no one gets off. You drive 10 miles to another station where 3 people get on and 1 gets off. You drive another 10 miles only to get 25 people on and 5 people go off. Next you drive 3 miles while 12 people exit the bus. You drive back to the place knowing that a couple more stops along the way until the ride is done. At the 2nd to last station 5 people get on and 2 get off. And at the last station (5.5 miles) 25 people get on for no reason and 1 gets off. What is the bus drivers eye color?
your eye color
There are thirty cows and twenty eight chickens how many didn't?
ten
how do you make time fly?
you throw your clock out the window
I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody.
pencil lead
Dracula’s going to the bank to keep his money, he seems a little more pale than usual, which bank did he go to?
a blood bank
what is a ghost favorite ice cream flavor?
Booberry
you are trapped in a restaurant and cant get out. what do you do?
get another job
french fries weren't cooked in France?
they were cooked in Greece
I move very slowly at an imperceptible rate, although I take my time, I am never late. I accompany life, and survive past demise, I am viewed with esteem in many people's eyes. What am I?
your hair