Section 1
What is always coming, but never arrives?
Tommarow
Which room has no walls?
A mushroom
What can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch or Dinner
If a monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree, who will get the banana first?
None, because you cannot get a banana from a coconut tree
A man dressed in all black is walking down a country lane. Suddenly, a large black car with no lights on comes around the corner and screeches to a halt. How did the car’s driver know he was there?
It was day time
What can be broken, but is never held?
a promise
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
There are eight men sitting on a couch. Three legs break and six men leave. How many legs are remaining?
Five; the legs of the two remaining men (4) and the remaining couch leg
A fishing boat, with a ladder in it, is leaning against a wall at the harbor. There are 5 oars and 2 fishing nets in the trawler. The distance between two consecutive steps on the ladder is 1 meter. If waves lashing against the wall rise a half meter in every half hour, how long will it take before 6 steps of the ladder are under the waves?
Since the fishing boat rises with the waves, no steps will go under water.
What is white and black, but red all over?
The newspaper is “read” all over.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor and not crack it?
No problem, because concrete floors are very hard to crack.
How many sides does a circle have?
Two, because it has an inside and an outside.
What two words, when combined, hold the most letters?
Post Office
What is the maximum number of times a single page of a newspaper can be folded in half by hand?
Only once, because after that you will be folding it into quarters, eighths, etc.
Where is an ocean with no water?
On a map
What goes up and down, but never moves?
stairs
If you imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by sharks, how would you survive?
Stop imagining
1968 pennies worth more than 1967 pennies?
Because there is one more penny in 1968 pennies than in 1967 pennies.
You are driving a bus. When you begin your route, there is an old woman named Mrs. Smith and a young boy named Raymond are on the bus. At the first stop, the old woman leaves, and a salesman, named Ed, enters. At the next stop, Jack and his sister Jill get on, as well as three women with shopping bags. The bus travels fifteen minutes, then stops and Raymond gets off and a man and his wife get on. Next, a woman with a bird in a cage gets on the bus. What is the name of the bus driver?
Well, remember that you are the one driving the bus!
What is the biggest problem with snow boots?
Snow Boots Melt
What happened to the lion when he ate the clown?
He felt funny.
If ten birds are sitting in a tree and a hunter shoots one, how birds many are left in the tree?
None, because after one bird got shot, the rest flew away
There are three important rooms in a house. The first one is filled with money. The second one is filled with important papers. The third one is filled with jewelry. One day all of these rooms burst into fire. Which room did the policemen put out the fire in first?
None of them, because policemen do not put out fires; firemen do
A man has a fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain. He must cross a river, but cannot carry all of them at once. If he leaves the fox with the chicken, the fox will eat the chicken. However, if he leaves the chicken with the grain, the chicken will eat the grain. How can he get all three across safely?
He can take the chicken over first. Then he can go back and bring the grain next carrying the chicken for this trip. He leaves the chicken, and takes the fox to wait with the grain. Then he goes back to the other side and retrieves the chicken.