What are two things you can never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner
What goes up but never ever comes down?
Your age
If it takes eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men?
No time, because the wall is already builtNo time, because the wall is already built
You spot a boat full of people but there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
Everyone on board is married
If an electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph, which way does the smoke blow?
An electric train has no smoke
What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
Incorrectly
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg
What starts with “e” and ends with “e” but only has one letter in it?
An envelope
What will you actually find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter ‘W’
What breaks and never falls, and what falls and never breaks?
Day breaks and night falls
What can be broken but never held?
A promise
What can one catch that is not thrown?
A cold
How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
She sleeps at night
If Mrs. John’s one-story house is decorated completely in pink, with the walls, carpet, and furniture all shades of pink, what color are the stairs?
There are no stairs, it's a one story house
If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some kindling wood, and a newspaper, which would you light first?
The match
What never asks a question but gets answered all the time?
Your cellphone
A girl fell off a 50-foot ladder but didn’t get hurt. How come?
She fell off the bottom step
If you have one, you want to share it. But once you share it, you do not have it. What is it?
A secret
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add a ‘G’ and it’s gone!
A young boy was rushed to the hospital emergency room, but the ER doctor saw the boy and refused to operate. “This boy is my son,” the doctor said. But the doctor wasn’t the boy’s father. How could this be?
The doctor was the boy’s mom
What is it that lives if it is fed, and dies if you give it a drink?
Fire
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal, because people usually have half their fingers on one hand.
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors aren’t buried!
. If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The four you took
A woman pushes her car to a hotel and then proceeds to tell the owner that she is bankrupt. Why?
She is playing Monopoly