Who always enjoys poor health?
A doctor
I have a thousand needles but i do not sew. What am I?
A Porcupine
There was a man who was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet, there was nothing wrong with what he had done. WHY?
His father was in front of him when he was born, therefore he was born before him. His mother died while giving birth to him. Finally, he grew up to be a minister and married his sister at her ceremony.
614 x 72
44,208
5678 x 786
4,462,908
What did the scientist get when he crossed a chicken and a cow?
Roost Beef
When may a man's coat pocket be empty, an yet have something in it?
When it has a hole in it.
A boy was born in 1955 he just had his 18th birthday today how did that happen
1955 is not the year he was born it was the hospital room he was born in
564,317 divided by 14
40,308.3
123,456,78 divided by 1234
10,004
When they are caught, they are thrown away. When they escape,you itch all day. What are they?
Fleas
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn"sign, and he went on the wrong way on a one way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why Not?
He was Walking.
What is the difference between a school boy and studying a farmer watching his cattle?
One is stocking his mind, while the other is minding his stock.
562,835-2578 =
560,257
24,356,758-12,548=
24,344,210
A very pretty thing i am, I am fluttering in the pale-blue sky. Delicate, fragile on the wing, indeed i am a pretty thing. What am I ?
A Butterfly, delicate and unique.
There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?
Meat
whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. And whoever knows it wants it not
Counterfeit Money
55,265 plus 20
55,285
12,345,678 plus 12,345,678
24,691,356
Why is a dirty rug like bad boy?
Both need breathing.
No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I ?
A Calendar
Making Mortal privation when firmly in place. An enduring summation inscribed in my face.
What Am I?
A tombstone
12345678 +1525
12,347,203
12,345,678 x 12,345,678
152,415,765,279,684