Who always enjoys poor health?
A doctor
I have a thousand needles but i do not sew. What am I?
A Porcupine
There was a man who was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet, there was nothing wrong with what he had done. WHY?
His father was in front of him when he was born, therefore he was born before him. His mother died while giving birth to him. Finally, he grew up to be a minister and married his sister at her ceremony.
Four friends do yardwork for their neighbors over the weekend, earning $15, $20, $25, and $40 respectively. They decide to split their earnings equally among themselves. In total how much will the friend who earned $40 give to the others?
$15
Ike and Mike go into a sandwich shop with a total of $30.00 to spend. Sandwiches cost $4.50 each and soft drinks cost $1.00 each. Ike and Mike plan to buy as many sandwiches as they can, and use any remaining money to buy soft drinks. Counting both sandwiches and soft drinks, how many items will they buy?
9
What did the scientist get when he crossed a chicken and a cow?
Roost Beef
When may a man's coat pocket be empty, an yet have something in it?
When it has a hole in it.
A boy was born in 1955 he just had his 18th birthday today how did that happen
1955 is not the year he was born it was the hospital room he was born in
Luka is making lemonade to sell at a school fundraiser. His recipe requires 4 times as much water as sugar and twice as much sugar as lemon juice. He uses 3 cups of lemon juice. How many cups of water does he need?
24
Alex and Felicia each have cats as pets. Alex buys cat food in cylindrical cans that are 6 cm in diameter and 12 cm high. Felicia buys cat food in cylindrical cans that are 12 cm in diameter and 6 cm high. What is the ratio of the volume one of Alex's cans to the volume one of Felicia's cans?
1:2
When they are caught, they are thrown away. When they escape,you itch all day. What are they?
Fleas
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn"sign, and he went on the wrong way on a one way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why Not?
He was Walking.
What is the difference between a school boy and studying a farmer watching his cattle?
One is stocking his mind, while the other is minding his stock.
Zara has a collection of 4 marbles: an Aggie, a Bumblebee, a Steelie, and a Tiger. She wants to display them in a row on a shelf but does not want to put the Steelie and the Tiger next to one another. In how many ways can she do this?
12
On a beach 50 people are wearing sunglasses and 35 people are wearing caps. Some people are wearing both sunglasses and caps. If one of the people wearing a cap is selected at random, the probability that this person is also wearing sunglasses is 2/5. If instead, someone wearing sunglasses is selected at random, what is the probability that this person is also wearing a cap?
7/25
A very pretty thing i am, I am fluttering in the pale-blue sky. Delicate, fragile on the wing, indeed i am a pretty thing. What am I ?
A Butterfly, delicate and unique.
There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?
Meat
Ms.Osborne asks each student in her class to draw a rectangle with integer side lengths and a perimeter of 50 units. All of her students calculate the area of the rectangle they draw. What is the difference between the largest and smallest possible areas of the rectangles?
132
A number is called flippy if its digits alternate between two distinct digits. For example, 2020 and 37373 are flippy, but 3883 and 123123 are not. How many five-digit flippy numbers are divisible by 15?
4
In a tournament, there are six teams that play each other twice. A team earns 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw, and 0 points for a loss. After all the games have been played it turns out that the top three teams earned the same number of total points. What is the greatest possible number of total points for each of the top three teams?
24
Why is a dirty rug like bad boy?
Both need breathing.
No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I ?
A Calendar
For how many positive integer values of n are both and 3n three-digit whole numbers?
12
Five different awards are to be given to three students. Each student will receive at least one award. In how many different ways can the awards be distributed?
150
Alice has 24 apples. In how many ways can she share them with Becky and Chris so that each of the three people has at least two apples?
190