1-5
A little girl kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her. How is this possible?
Ever heard of gravity? She kicked it up.
A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?
Because he was not driving! He’s walking on the sidewalk.
How much dirt is there in a hole 3 feet deep, 6 ft long and 4 ft wide?
None, or else it wouldn’t be a hole.
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
No, but since he’s dead it would be kind of difficult
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
It will become Wet.
A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?
Never. The boat rises as the tide goes up.
An electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph. Which way does the smoke blow?
There is no smoke with an electric train.
If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it take before all the pills had been taken?
1 hour! Take the 1st pill right away, half an hour later take the 2nd and half an hour after that the 3rd. Total time spent: 1 hour!
Some months have 31 days, others have 30 days. How many have 28 days?
All months have 28 days.
What can you never eat for breakfast?
Dinner
A is the father of B. But B is not the son of A. How’s that possible?
B is the daughter you MCP’s!
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
By sleeping during the night time
If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
No time at all it is already built.
Larry’s father has five sons named Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Forty…Guess what would be the name of the fifth?
Larry! He would be the fifth son
What gets wetter & wetter the more it dries?
A towel
A man dressed in all black is walking down a country lane. Suddenly, a large black car without any lights on comes round the corner and screeches to a halt. How did the car know he was there?
It was day time.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
The Egg won’t crack the concrete floor!
If Mr Smith’s peacock lays an egg in Mr Jones’ yard, who owns the egg?
Peacocks don’t lay eggs, just peahens.
What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?
Stairs!
What goes up and never comes down?
Age
A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll?
It didn’t roll – since when did roosters start laying eggs?
How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
If there are 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have?
The 4 you took
How far can you walk into the woods?
Half way. After that you are walking out of the woods.
Which is heavier, 100 pounds of rocks or 100 pounds of feathers?
They both weigh the same – 100 pounds