Relationships
What is Match + 1?
The principle that we must reveal personal information in order to get close to another person
What does ROCK ON stand for?
RESIST the urge to control other people
Identify your interpersonal effectiveness goals and degree of OPENNESS
CLARIFY the interpersonal effectiveness goals and degree of OPENNESS
Practice KINDNESS first and foremost
Take into account the OTHER person's NEEDS
What is healthy self-doubt?
the ability to consider that one may be wrong or incorrect, without falling apart or harshly blaming others
What does bio-temperament mean?
Genetic and biological predispositions that impact:
1. how we perceive the world
2. how we regulate emotion
What are the two steps involved in MATCH + 1?
Step 1: Revealing personal info
Step 2: Estimate the level of intimacy during the interaction
What does REVEAL stand for?
RECOGNIZE secret desires for control
EXAMINE your social-signaling and label what you find
Remember your core VALUES
ENGAGE with integrity by outing-yourself
Practice flexible-mind ADOPTS
LEARN through self-inquiry
What is self-inquiry?
Actively seeking the things one wants to avoid or may find uncomfortable in order to learn; involves a willingness to challenge our core beliefs
What does it mean to be over controlled?
characterized by excessive self control
"Why bother trying, nothing will eve improve our closeness or the relationship"
What kind of bias is this an example of?
Fatalistic-Mind
What does ALLOWs stand for?
Assess your commitment to improve the relationship
Look for concrete evidence that mistrust is justified
Loosen the grip on past hurts or fears
Out-Oneself by revealing inner feelings
Welcome feedback and continue dialogue
What does One-Mindfully mean?
Purposefully turning one's attention toward the present moment without getting caught up in unrelated thoughts, emotions, images or sensations.
Four core deficits of OC
Low receptivity and openness
Low flexible-control
Pervasive inhibited emotional expression and low emotional awareness
Low social connectedness and intimacy with others
What are Push-Back and Don't-Hurt-Me responses?
- They represented hidden intentions or disguised demands that negatively impact relationships
- They function to block unwanted feedback
- They are signaled non-verbally
What does ADOPTS stand for?
Acknowledge that feedback is occurring
Describe and observe emotions, bodily sensations, thoughts
Open to new information by cheerleading and fully listening
Pinpoint what new behavior is being recommended by the feedback
Try-out the new behavior
Self-soothe and reward yourself for being open and trying something new
What is social signaling?
Any behavior a person exhibits in the presence of another person; regardless of its intention
What are the 4 RO "How" skills?
1) With self-inquiry
2) With awareness of harsh judgments
3) With one-mindful awareness
4) Effectively with humility
What are the five opportunities (levels) to validate another person?
1. Being attentive
2. Reflecting back
3. Empathic mind-reading
4. Based on our history
5. Normalizing
6. Signaling trust
7. Reciprocity
What does DEF stand for?
Acknowledge DISTRESS or unwanted emotion
Use Self-ENQUIRY to learn
FLEXIBLY- respond with humility
What are the 3 components of RO DBT?
3 core features of psychological health and well being
1. receptivity & openness (Considering others' perspectives)
2. flexible-control
3. intimacy and connectedness (w/ at least 1 other individual; quality, not quantity)