Conflict Triggers
Name one common cause of conflict between friends or family.
Someone leaves you on read. Name 2 emotions you might experience
Hurt, confused, rejected, annoyed, worried, embarrassed, angry, etc
Apologizing, listening, accountability, communication, giving space, compromise, changed behavior
"Whatever. I don't care."
"I'm frustrated right now and don't know what to say"
You accidentally interrupt someone several times and they tell you it's bothering them. What could you do?
Acknowledge it, apologize, and make an effort to let them finish speaking
What can happen when we assume someone's intentions instead of asking them?
Misunderstandings & unnecessary conflict
Someone tells you you're overreacting. Name one emotion you might experience
Mad, hurt, embarrassed, misunderstood
What's usually more meaningful after an apology: repeatedly saying "I'm sorry" or changing behavior?
Changed behavior
"You ALWAYS do this!"
"I've noticed this has happened before a few times. and it's bothering me."
Your friend makes a joke that hurts your feelings but says, "I was just joking." What could you do?
Explain how the joke affected you and communicate your boundary
Name 2 things that can turn a small disagreement into a bigger argument
Yelling, interrupting, blaming, name-calling, sarcasm, defensiveness, bringing up the past, etc
Anger is sometimes covering up what other emotions? Name 2
Hurt, fear, sadness, embarrassment, rejection, disappointment, insecurity
Someone says "I'm sorry you feel that way." What's missing from this apology?
Accountability/acknowledgement of what they did
"If you actually cared about me, you'd know why I'm upset."
"I'm upset about what happened, and I'd like to talk about it."
You need space after an argument, but the other person wants to solve it immediately. How can BOTH needs be respected?
Communicate that you need a break AND agree on when you'll return to the conversation.
Why might someone become more irritable during conflict when they're overstimulated or overwhelemed?
It can become harder to regulate emotions, process information, and communicate effectively.
Someone criticizes you and you immediately start defending yourself. What emotion might be underneath the defensiveness?
Hurt, embarassment, fear, shame, rejection, insecurity
Name 3 things that can help rebuild trust after it's been damaged.
Honesty, consistency, accountability, communication, changed behavior, respecting boundaries, patience
"Leave me alone"
"I'm overwhelmed right now. I need some space before we continue talking."
Someone apologizes, but you're still upset. What could you say instead of pretending everything is okay?
"I appreciate your apology. I'm still hurt and need some time."
Name 3 signs that you might need a break before continuing conflict.
Racing heart, yelling, shutting down, crying, inability to listen, feeling overwhelmed
Why can identifying what you're actually feeling help during conflict?
It helps you communicate what you need instead of only reacting to the emotion
TRUE or FALSE: Repairing a relationship means the relationship has to go back to exactly how it was before the conflict.
FALSE
"I'm sorry, BUT, you made me angry."
"I'm sorry for how I responded. I was angry but that doesn't excuse what I did."
Halfway through an argument, you realize YOU'RE ACTUALLY WRONG. What should you do?
Acknowledge it, take accountability, apologize if appropriate, and stop arguing simply to "win".