Rupture 101
What is a rupture in a relationship?
a break in trust, connection, or understanding between people
Name one thing you can say to start a repair after a conflict.
“I’m sorry,” “Can we talk about what happened?” or “I care about our relationship”
What is one physical sign your body gives when you're upset or hurt?
a tight chest, stomachache, tension, fast heartbeat, or shaky hands
What is one active listening skill?
eye contact, nodding, paraphrasing, or reflecting feelings
If connection was a color, what would it be and why?
explore color as a metaphor: blue = calm, yellow = warmth, green = growth
Name one emotion that often shows up after a rupture.
sadness, anger, fear, shame, or confusion
What is a nonverbal way to show you’re ready to reconnect?
soft eye contact, open posture, calm tone, or a gentle gesture
What might your body feel like during a rupture?
closed off, frozen, anxious, heavy, hot, or numb
What’s a “you-statement” vs. an “I-statement”? Give an example of an “I-statement.”
"You never listen" vs. "I feel unheard when I speak and don’t get a response"
What’s one word you associate with healing?
peace, wholeness, softness, growth, forgiveness, or resilience
True or False: Ruptures only happen in unhealthy relationships.
False. Ruptures happen in all relationships — even healthy ones.
True or False: Saying "I'm sorry" is always enough to repair a rupture.
False. A real repair often takes listening, accountability, and behavior change.
True or False: Emotions can give us information about our needs.
True — Emotions are messengers telling us what matters.
Name two signs someone is attuning to you.
eye contact, mirroring tone, validating, or leaning in
What’s a metaphor or symbol you would use for repair?
a bridge, thread and needle, gold seams (kintsugi), or a mended heart
What are two common causes of rupture?
miscommunication, unmet needs, being ignored, feeling judged, or boundary violations
Name 2 steps involved in making a meaningful repair.
taking responsibility, validating feelings, offering a plan to change, or being consistent over time
What are two ways to soothe your nervous system when you're dysregulated?
deep breathing, grounding exercises, movement, cold water, or naming the feeling?
What does tone of voice have to do with connection?
tone conveys emotion, intention, and safety (or threat)
Imagine a superhero whose power is emotional repair. What would they be called?
bonus for creative names like “Mender,” “Heart Glue,” “The Listener”
Describe a rupture you've witnessed in a TV show, movie, or book — what caused it?
any answers that show understanding of emotional or relational breakdown.
What does “repairing with yourself” mean, and how can you do it?
giving yourself compassion after a mistake — through journaling, reflection, or self-forgiveness
Describe a time your body told you something was wrong — even before your mind could explain it.
Look for awareness of somatic cues like tension, instinct, or dread.
Roleplay: Someone cuts you off mid-sentence. How do you respond with care and boundaries?
“I’d really like to finish what I was saying,” or “It’s important to me to feel heard”
Share a rupture you repaired — what helped most in that process?
Look for awareness of reflection, action, empathy, or communication