Purpose Over Pleasure
Growth Through Conflict
Love as Service
Sacred Practices
Intimacy & Covenant
100

The core idea that marriage’s chief job is to make spouses more like this, rather than just make them happier.

What is holy or holiness?

Name one small habit this week that could help you grow in that direction.

100

According to the theme, conflict often exposes these internal problems like pride or control

What are character issues (or idols/selfishness)?

Which pattern typically shows up first for you in conflict?

100

The simplest way to turn down resentment and build love is to choose this kind of action toward your spouse

What is voluntary service (or acts of service).

List one practical service you can perform this evening

100

A short, regular shared activity recommended to build spiritual connection between spouses

What is prayer together (or short devotions)

Decide on a two-minute prayer time to try tonight

100

The public promise couples make that matters because it holds them through times when marriage ______ 

What is gets hard?

What one boundary protects your marriage covenant?

200

Instead of “find the right person,” Christianity calls you to become this

What is... become the right person?

What character trait would you work on to become “the right person”

200

Thomas argues struggles are not signs of failure but opportunities for this kind of personal development

What is growth or sanctification

Tell a brief example where a past conflict helped you grow

200

The attitude that fuels contempt is usually born from these unmet ideas about how your spouse should behave

What are expectations

Replace a complaint with one expression of gratitude today

200

When hurt occurs, the key practice that restores relationship by releasing bitterness is this

What is forgiveness

What is something you've had to ask for forgiveness for in your marriage? 

200

The book highlights that intimacy must be built on mature love rather than this romantic but unstable force

What is romanticism (or romantic idealism)

Name one habit that creates durable intimacy beyond romance

300

When marriage is treated like a product that must deliver comfort and pleasure, it’s called a ______ view versus a God-centered view.

What is a man-centered or consumer view?

Where have you treated marriage like a consumer product?

300

The metaphor used: God refines people by having them go through troubles, not by keeping them ______ 

What is around troubles (or avoiding troubles)

How might you reframe a current difficulty as refining rather than punishing

300

The book says giving this to your spouse is an obligation of maturity rather than a favor

What is respect?

Name one specific way to show active honor this week

300

The habit of naming small daily blessings and saying thanks is a practice that creates this in the marriage

What is gratitude (or thankfulness)

Name one thing you appreciated about your spouse today. 

300

One of Augustine’s listed benefits of marriage emphasized as essential is this promise-like quality that makes marriage indissoluble

What is sacramentality or indissolubility (the sacrament)

How does viewing marriage as a sacrament change your commitments?

400

The book compares marriage to this kind of spiritual activity that requires repeated practice and discipline.

What is a spiritual discipline?

Which relational practice in your marriage could be framed as a discipline?

400

A practical skill recommended in conflict: prioritize understanding your spouse over trying to be ______ 

What is understood (or making yourself understood)

Practice: for 48 hours, ask one clarifying question before defending

400

Thomas uses a boxing metaphor to describe people who avoid serious struggle and only take easy challenges; this behavior he calls ______ 

What is coasting (or dodging serious contenders)

Where might you be “coasting” in marriage and why

400

The practice that consistently surfaces motives, calls for confession, and prevents hidden idols from ruling is this spiritual discipline

What is self-examination or confession

Spend five minutes listing one motive you want to surrender and pray about

400

Thomas warns that loving God will be hard if we cannot love this person who has breath and flaws

Who is your spouse?

Identify one habitual reaction to your spouse you’d like to replace with patience.

500

The suggested response when marriage brings dissatisfaction is not to leave but to change this first

What is yourself (or change yourself)?

Identify one personal change you could try before asking for change from your spouse

500

The book equates the willingness to persist in right choices—even when tempted otherwise—with this kind of righteousness

What is persistent righteousness or enduring righteousness

Name one small, persistent choice you will commit to for the next month.

500

Choosing another’s good over your immediate comfort imitates the love of this person

Who is Jesus (or Christlike love)

Describe one sacrificial choice you can make that points to that love

500

Thomas says obedience to God creates this quieter long-term state, more dependable than mood-based happiness

What is quiet fulfillment (or spiritual satisfaction)

How does obedience feel different than pursuit of pleasure in your marriage?

500

The deep marital practice that expresses esteem publicly, affirms gifts, and declares appreciation is called active ______ 

What is honor?

Plan one way to honor your spouse this week

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