Basics
One of the ways friendships start
School, sports, clubs, camps, or any superficial common interests!
Healthy friendships do not typically start from shared trauma.
When should you start to share your personal thoughts and feelings?
When you can trust someone and the friendship has depth.
DOUBLE POINTS if you can say when you know a friendship has depth - meaning beyond a surface level friendship.
True or False:
You owe your friends an explanation as to why you didn't text them back or can't hang out.
FALSE
No is a complete sentence, and no friend (or boyfriend/girlfriend/partner) needs an answer right away.
True or False:
Friends shouldn't fight.
FALSE
It is okay to have a disagreement or argument! As individual people who are learning about yourselves, it is common for teenagers to disagree.
Bonus points if you can tell us where the line is in a disagreement.
How do most teenagers maintain friendships?
The most common way teenagers form and maintain friendships is online.
Friendships are based on what two things?
Interests and space - our friends are usually the people around us!
This is the term for the unwanted spread of personal or private information.
Gossip
A healthy friendship respects the need for ______. Friends don't pressure friends to share.
Privacy
Friends should respect others' need to process or keep personal information to themselves. Some things are private!
How should you talk about problems in your friendship?
Can a friendship in person be just as genuine as a friendship online?
Yes - real connections can be formed online. However, there are different boundaries and limitations online than in person for safety reasons.
Emotional support.
True or False:
Friendship is always 50/50.
FALSE
While friendship is a two-way street, there may be times when someone needs additional support or more firm boundaries.
True or False:
You can only have one best friend.
FALSE
You can have many friends and many best friends. You are also allowed to hang out with whoever you want, as long as you are not isolating someone from a group with mean intent.
How do you apologize to someone?
The 4 A's:
Admit when you are wrong
Acknowledge the impact on the other person
Apologize (say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong")
Act to correct - apologies are more than words, there needs to be actual change
Is it more important to trust someone or to support someone?
When you trust someone, you naturally support them and recieve their support. If you do not trust someone, the support will not feel the same.
True or False:
When you get older and friendships are more mature, you become more selective about who you are friends with.
TRUE!
When you are young, friends are based mostly on who is in the same class, who lives in the same neighborhood, and things you can do together. As you age, you choose friends who share the same values as you.
What is emotional safety?
When you can be yourself, express your feelings, and set boundaries without fear of judgement or rejection.
What makes boundaries challenging with social media?
People can look at each other's statuses and locations, and know where people are and what they are doing all the time, despite the need for privacy.
Can friendships be the same as they were after a conflict?
Yes and no! It is possible to repair the relationship, but some boundaries may need to be put in place to make the relationship healthier.
What is a red flag in friendships?
Codependency, acting outside of your values to fit in, changing yourself for someone else, feeling like you need to answer your phone right away
True or False:
Most people are friends with the same people since childhood.
FALSE
It is normal for friends to change over time as your interests, values, and boundaries evolve.
How do you know when someone is not a safe friend?
When someone puts you down, ignores your feelings, does not respect when you say no (like copying your homework, borrowing things without your permission, posting bad pics of you), tries to control you (who you hang out with, what you do, is possessive of you), or when you feel anxious around that person (if you feel like you're disappointing them, changing your behavior around them, or feeling insecure).
When do you know you need to set boundaries and limits in a friendship?
When one person questions or has control over another persons relationships, activities, or independence.
What is conflict?
Hurt feelings, feeling excluded, misunderstandings, boundary crossings, etc.
True or False:
Monitoring friends messages, location, and online activity is controlling.
TRUE
There is a fine line between knowing what your friends are up to and monitoring them.