cat jokes
What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
Puss in boots.
Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
Decalfinated.
Why did the fish blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
"Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
“Ruff!”
Where do milkshakes come from?
Nervous cows.
What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crook-o-dile.
What do you call a cow spying on another cow?
A steak out.
Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they play in black-and-white.
What kind of jungle cat is no fun to play games with?
A cheetah.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
I don’t know, but you can step in a poodle.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
What do fish do at football games?
They wave.
What day do chickens fear the most?
Fry-days.
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse.
What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!
What goes “ooo ooo oo”?
A cow with no lips.
What does a fish do in a crisis?
Sea-kelp
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away their credit cards.