I-statements
True or False.
It is better to use I-statements as you are explaining how something affects you instead of accusing the other person.
True.
True or False:
It is helpful to listen to the other person's point of view even if you are upset with them.
True.
What is a you-statement:
a) I feel hurt when you take my things before asking
b) You take my things all the time. That's so rude
b) You take my things all the time. That's so rude!
You are annoyed that your friend keeps taking your things without asking you.
You tell them using an I-statement: I feel uncomfortable when you take my things without asking me because I feel like you don't respect my feelings.
What can do you next:
A) Listen to what your friend has to say first so you can understand what's going on
B) Immediately tell them you would like them to stop taking your things.
A)
It's good to listen to what they have to say. You can still make your request and come to an agreement together after you've heard them out.
Change the you-statement to an I-statement:
You-statement: You don't ask me how my day is going. You just don't care!
I-statement: I feel __________ when you ___________because ______________.
I feel upset when you don't ask me about my day because I feel like you don't care about me.
Your friend keeps ignoring your text message. You are really upset and thinks they don't want to be your friend anymore.
When you see them, you tell them how you feel and they reply with: "Sorry, I've been having a hard time. I just feel too tired to reply to messages."
How can you respond?
Example:
I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. Is there anything I can do to help?
Change the you-statement to an I-statement
You-statement: You are not listening to me. You just keep talking about yourself.
I-statement: I feel __________ when you ___________because ______________.
I feel upset when I don't have a chance to talk because I feel like you don't care about me.
Change the you-statement to an I-statement
You-statement: You keep asking me to do things when I'm busy! Are you trying to drive me crazy?
I-statement: I feel __________ when you ___________because ______________.
I feel frustrated when you ask me to do things when I'm busy because I find it difficult to be interrupted.