Family Roles
The ______ will often become the focus of attention for the dysfunctional family.
scapegoat
_____ is an emotional state of extreme discomfort and stress that results from a major painful experience.
Trauma
Many people fear _____ because they are afraid of what would happen if they did share their real feelings.
intimacy
In a family with a dysfunctional style, there may be little flexibility or emotional growth. Children in these families can become emotionally stunted as adults because they learn to believe that life is extremely serious and people are very _____.
Dysfunctional Family Rule Number One: Act Rigidly
When people grow up in a dysfunctional family, they often grow up feeling a lot of _____.Sometimes this is directed toward others. Sometimes this is directed inward, which can lead to depression or self-hatred.
anger
The ____ is a child who assumes adult responsibilities, such as organizing the other children, making certain that they are fed, clothed, and ready for school and bed.
hero
The unhealthy ways of coping are often referred to as _____ behavior, because each member’s problem is developed in response to the problems of the other family members.
codependent
In _____ family systems, communication is open and rules are flexible and enforced fairly and consistently
healthy
The rule of _____ includes not speaking with other family members about feelings, emotions, or behaviors. This rule includes not talking to anyone outside the family as well.
Dysfunctional Family Rule Number Two: Be Silent
People are afraid they’ll have to go through more pain and anger in new relationships. They may be afraid of what other people might do to them. Or they might be afraid of what they might do to other people in these new relationships. They may have feelings of _____ to face all of these feelings of pain, anger, and anxiety.
fear
The _____ survives by focusing on the needs of others and reducing the fears, anxieties, and sadness of other family members.
placater
______ means that the relationships among family members and the roles that family members take on are unhealthy
dysfunctional
In an ______, imbalanced family system, communication is closed and rules are rigid, unrealistic, and enforced inconsistently and unfairly.
unhealthy
Children growing up in dysfunctional families are faced with a serious problem. Even when something really bad happens (drunkenness or violence), these children are told that nothing is wrong. If you were raised in this type of family, you may have a hard time expressing painful emotions because you were taught to ignore them and to believe they were not real.
Dysfunctional Family Rule Number Three: Be in Denial
_______ means reaching some sort of peacefulness inside, some level of harmony. Not perfection, but acceptance.
Reconciliation
The ____ ____ will try to accept whatever happens in the family. This child will do as he or she is told without a fight or comment.
lost child
Treatment and recovery are built on a foundation of _______, a state in which people are dependent on one another in order to work together for a common good.
interdependence
Five common elements are associated with codependence:
Name the 5 for a daily double
1. Currently or recently living with an actively addicted person
2. An obsession with the needs and behaviors of the addicted person
3. A tendency to please the addicted person while depriving oneself
4. Confusion over one’s own identity
5. Very low self-esteem
Dysfunctional families typically have a rigid set of rules that keep family members from discussing important behavior and emotional problems with each other. Because of this, each family member can feel emotionally ______.
Dysfunctional Family Rule Number Four: Feel Isolated
For most people, this healing process involves reaching a stage of understanding and _______for the harms that were done. This may not be easy, and it may take a long time, even years. But with this comes freedom from the oppression of these strong feelings.
forgiveness
Ideally, interdependence among people includes 5 characteristics. These are the characteristics (or at least the goals) of healthy families.
Name the 5 for a daily double
(1) open communication,
(2) shared decisions,
(3) joint action,
(4) trust,
and (5) concern for each other.
Family dysfunction ranges from mild to severe. However, dysfunctional families share certain characteristics. Name four.
■ We had many family secrets and skeletons in our closet.
■ We tried to keep outsiders from getting too close to our family.
■ People in our family had no flexibility, and rigid rules were very important.
■ Our family endured change very poorly.
■ Members of our family were made to feel guilty if they wanted to leave the family.
■ In spite of the need to stick together, there wasn’t much unity in our family.
■ During crises, our family often fell apart or didn’t support each other.
■ Family members often attacked or ignored each other.
■ Problems and conflicts between members of our family were often ignored or denied.
■ Our family often went from one crisis to another
What are three things you have learned about your family family dynamic?
answer varies