SAY LESS
Talking too much during limit setting often leads to escalation and argument.
What is over-explaining?
A youth refuses group, saying, “I’m not going.”
A strong response includes validation and this expectation.
What is “group is still expected”?
A staff member gives multiple warnings before enforcing a limit.
What is inconsistency?
This is the first step in the 3-step limit-setting model.
What is validation?
A youth appropriately asks for space. Staff should respond by supporting this while maintaining structure.
What is regulation or appropriate coping?
Effective limit statements should typically be kept to this length.
What is 1–2 sentences?
A youth says, “Other staff let me do it.”
An effective response maintains this.
What is the current expectation or boundary?
A staff member raises their voice when a youth escalates.
What is matching energy or escalation?
In limit setting, this is what staff validate.
What are feelings (not behavior)?
A youth is rude but follows direction. Staff should address this separately from this.
What is compliance?
This phrase completes the concept: “Less words equals ____.”
What is a stronger limit?
A youth demands RO immediately.
The correct response includes validation and this limit.
What is RO is not available right now?
A staff member explains a rule for several minutes.
What is over-explaining?
After stating the limit, staff should offer this.
What is a choice?
During escalation in a car, staff should prioritize this.
What is safety and regulation?
When staff explain rules repeatedly, youth often respond with this.
What is arguing or power struggle?
A youth says, “Why are you always on me?”
A strong response acknowledges emotion and maintains this.
What is the expectation or boundary?
A staff member changes expectations after pushback.
What is not holding the limit?
This tone is most effective when holding limits.
What is calm and neutral?
A youth initially refuses but later re-engages. Staff should respond by reinforcing this.
What is positive behavior or re-engagement?
This is a common sign that a staff member has lost the limit.
What is arguing, raising voice, or over-negotiating?
When a youth says, “I don’t care,” staff should respond by maintaining this.
What is the expectation regardless of feelings?
A staff member argues to prove they are right.
What is engaging in a power struggle?
This quality is more important than being liked when working with youth.
What is consistency?
When staff feel triggered, they should do this before responding.
What is pause and regulate?