Where Are My Glasses?
The $10 item I inevitably search for when they are sitting on top of my head
What is "hello?"
The maximum number of items I truly needed, despite filling my cart for 30 minutes with impulsive buys.
What are 3?
The subject of my story, usually involving the great-grandchild doing something adorable
What are the kids?
The body part that, upon waking up, takes a full minute to stop making cracking and popping noises
What is my knee (or back)?
A common place glasses hide after I take them off to cook, usually in the last place they should be (hint: it's cold)
What is in the refridgerator?
ILYSM stands for...
What is I love you so much?
The dairy product I put into my cart, only to realize I already have 3 almost-expired cartons of it at home
What is cottage cheese?
The exact number of times I have already recounted the details of my favorite trip as a young adult
What is at least 5 times?
The volume level on the TV that I immediately turn up on the television after realizing I've been asking "what did they say?" for the last 10 minutes
What is really high?
This hand-held item is often used to read the small font on a menu or a pill bottle - when my readers won't cut it
What is a magnifying glass?
The only way to truly fix my computer, according to my grandchild?
What is restarting it?
The specific brand of soup that is Andy Warhole loved to paint
What is Campbell's?
The person I corner at a family event to tell a 15-minute anecdote that actually started with "I'll make this quick"
Who is my niece or nephew?
This is the specific food item that requires a 30-minute archaeological dig with dental floss
What are popcorn kernels?
The name of the stylish item that holds my glasses around my neck so I don't lose them....again
I use this app on my phone to ask my smart home device to play my favorite music
What is Alexa or Siri?
This little paper booklet is required to get a tiny discount, yet is becoming obsolete with technology
What is a coupon book?
The name of the person I keep confusing with the plot of a TV show or will always forget
Who is my adult child's boyfriend/girlfriend?
The embarrassing sound I try to suppress while bending over to tie my shoe in a quiet grocery store aisle
What is a grunt?
My doctor says the reason I need a stronger prescription every year is this unavoidable age-related condition
What is presbyopia?
I send this digital picture of a cat or a scenic view to my adult children without any accompanying text
What is a meme?
The person I call while standing in the middle of the spice aisle to confirm if "poultry seasoning" is the same as "stuffing mix"
Who is my spouse or child?
The physical item I suddenly interrupt my own story to retrieve from a drawer to provide visual evidence
What is an old photograph?
The essential tool that is always missing from the drawer, forcing me to use a butter knife instead
What is a screwdriver?