What did the zero say to the eight?
”Nice belt!”
Four legs up, four legs down, soft in the middle, hard all around.
Bed.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
I had legs but could not walk, a strong back but couldn't work, two good arms but couldn't reach, a seat but couldn't sit.
A chair.
You’re running a race and at the very end, you pass the person in 2nd place. What place did you finish the race in?
You finished in 2nd place.
The man who invented it, didn't want it. The man who bought it, didn't need it. The man who needed it, didn't know it.
A Coffin.
Pearl white chest without key or lid. Inside which golden treasure is hid. What was I?
An egg.
We were twins, we were close together, but we would not touch. What were we?
Eyes.
I had no top or bottom, but I could hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time.
A ring.
What had legs but could not walk?
Why did the student always take cold baths?
Because he didn't want to get into hot water. (get in trouble)
What had four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What had hands but could not touch?
A clock.
What word was spelled wrong in every dictionary?”
The word "wrong".
Why did the farmer plant sugar cubes?
Because he wanted to raise Cain. (cause trouble)
If a brother, his sister, and their dog weren’t under an umbrella, why didn’t they get wet?
It wasn’t raining.
Why did the teenager put his clock in the oven?
He wanted to have a hot time. (enjoy himself)
Why did the kid bury his walkie-talkie?
Because the batteries died.
Why did the teenager put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams.
A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
He was bald.
Why did the little boy throw the butter out the window?
To see the butter fly.
Why did the truck driver off the edge of the cliff?
He wanted to test his air brakes.
Why did the boy put his radio in the fridge?
He wanted to hear a cool music.
Why did the piano student put her hand on the piano?
Because she wanted to play by ear.
Why did the man quit his job as a garbage collector?
He was always down in the dumps. (sad)