Emotions
True or False
Some emotions are good and some are bad.
False.
Emotions are not good or bad. They just are. Emotions can be comfortable or uncomfortable, not good or bad. How we react to them and our own behaviors can be adaptive or maladaptive.
What is the action urge of fear?
What is the opposite action?
The action urge of fear is avoid.
The opposite action is to approach or take action.
STOP or Freeze
Stop
Take a step back
Observe what's going on around you
Proceed when you can be calm
Maria is about to walk into her first high school choir audition and feels frozen. Her heart is pounding, hands shaking.
She steps aside and closes her eyes for a moment.
She tenses her shoulders tightly… then releases them.
Tightens her fists… then releases.
As she exhales, she repeats in her head: “I can be anxious and still do this.”
Her body softens enough for her to step into the room and give it her best.
Squeeze and Release
Your teacher moves your seat to the front of the room after catching you talking during class. You feel angry and embarrassed, and your urge is to shut down and ignore the rest of the lesson.
Example: Opposite Action
Notice your urge to shut down, pout, or even lash out. Act opposite by working hard in class.
Define an action urge.
What is the first step is avoiding acting on our action urges?
An action urge is something you feel compelled to do, often without thinking about it.
The first step is avoiding acting on an action urge is to notice it.
What is the action urge of anger?
What is the opposite action?
The action urge of anger is to attack.
The opposite action is to avoid or distract.
Name It
Instead of acting on your action urge, say it out loud.
If you've already acted on it, still name it.
The first step to avoiding acting on our action urges is to notice them.
Leila’s teacher accuses her of cheating during a quiz because her answers match someone else's. Leila feels heat rise in her face and wants to yell, "That's not fair!"
But instead she:
She freezes instead of reacting.
Takes a slow breath.
Observes her clenched jaw and racing thoughts.
Proceeds mindfully by saying, “I’d really like to talk about this later when I’m calm. I didn’t cheat.”
Later, she calmly explains the situation and clears it up.
STOP or Freeze
You raise your hand to share an answer, but the teacher calls on someone else—again. You feel yourself getting frustrated. You want to blurt out, “Why do you never call on me?”
Example: Name It
Notice your urge to snap at the teacher. You could say, "I noticed I had the urge to snap when you called on someone else."
Naming it instead of doing it will help you avoid consequences.
What is a physical sensation of an emotion?
Give an example.
A physical sensation is the way emotions feel in our bodies.
For example, anger can feel like clenched fists, a warm face, and tense muscles.
What is the action urge of frustration?
What is the opposite action?
The opposite action is to try again.
Squeeze and Release
This is paired muscle relaxation. You squeeze your muscles as tight as you can for 5 seconds and then release. Your muscles will end up being more laxed than they started.
After getting a low grade on her English essay, Amira feels worthless and just wants to crawl into bed and shut the world out.
Instead she gets up, takes a shower, puts on her favorite hoodie, and texts a friend to go study together at the library. Even though she doesn’t feel like it, her mood lifts by the end of the day.
Opposite Action
You didn’t finish your homework, and the teacher says you’ll lose points. You feel like arguing or making excuses because you think it’s unfair.
Example: What happens next
What do you gain by arguing, making excuses, and arguing with your teacher? That will just make her angry.
Dialectic thinking is when two opposite things are true at the same time.
I don't want to do this project. AND I will do it so I can get the credits to graduate.
What is the action urge of sadness?
What is the opposite action?
The action urge of sadness is isolation.
The opposite action is engaging in joyful activities.
What Happens Next
This is Pros and Cons.
Think about the possible consequences of your actions before acting on them.
Jaden just got a text from a friend saying that someone posted a rude comment about him on social media. His chest tightens and he feels his fists clench. He immediately wants to reply with something mean — or throw his phone.
Instead, he pauses and tells himself, "I feel the urge to fight back. My body wants to snap. I’m angry. But I don’t have to do what the urge says."
He puts the phone down and decides to go for a walk before deciding what to do.
Name It
Your teacher said you could go outside after the math lesson. Your classmates were disruptive, the math lesson took longer, and you didn't get to go outside.
You think that's unfair and you feel angry.
Example: STOP
Instead of reacting, you freeze. You take a deep breath and observe that its not your teachers fault time ran out.
Name one of the three functions of emotions.
1. Motivate us to action.
2. Communicate to others.
3. Communicate to ourselves.
What is the action urge of shame or guilt?
What is the opposite action?
The action urge for shame is guilt is hiding.
The opposite action is being open and making amends.
Opposite Action
Identify your action urge.
Do the opposite.
Andre is sitting in class and is furious at another student who keeps mocking his answer under their breath and tapping their pencil on their desk. He wants to throw his pencil or say something that would definitely get him sent to the office.
But he remembers how that played out last time. Last time he got in trouble with the teacher, had to talk to the principal, and missed work time so he had to do the work at home.
He chooses to write down how he’s feeling and tells the teacher after class instead.
What happens next.
You get frustrated with a math lesson. You are understanding what you're supposed to do. You want to lash out at your teacher or storm out of the classroom.
Example:
Notice your urge to lash out, snap at the teacher, and give up. Act opposite by calmly stating your need for help and trying again.