Reacting to Failure
What does “failure” mean to you?
***Varying answers***
Step #1 is to “think about why you were told no”.
What are some reasons why someone might say no to you?***Varying answers***
• Playing Minecraft (i.e., “Mom thinks I’m too young”)
• Misbehaving or engaging in unexpected behaviors
• Lack of time/other plans when Kellan wants to do something he likes
Step #1 is to “stop & count to a number”.
Why should we do this?
Because it can help us calm down & think about why we’re angry without hurting ourselves or others!
Step #1 is to “listen to what the other person has to say”.
Why is this important to do?
So that we can understand 1) why the person is feeling angry & 2) help them to calm down!
1) What does perspective-taking mean?
2) Why is it perceptive-taking important?
1) Seeing & understanding things in different ways
2) To get along with others
Step #1 is to “determine if you have failed”.
What are some signs that tell us that we’ve failed at something?
***Varying answers***
• Being told “Check this over again” or “Let’s try again”
• When something doesn’t look right
• When our answer turns red (on Lexia)
Step #2 is to “think about your choices”.
What are some expected things we can do when we’re told no?
• Do something else you like (e.g., play games or draw)
• Say how you feel in a friendly way by saying or writing it using “I feel” statements (i.e., “I feel upset because …”)
Step #2 is to “think about your choices”.
What are some expected things we can do when we’re feeing angry?
• Tell the person why you’re angry in a calm manner
• Walk away
• Use a coping tool
Step #2 is to “think about your choices”.
What are some expected things we can do when another person is feeing angry?
• Keep listening
• Ask the other person why they’re angry
• Give the person an appropriate idea to fix the problem
• Walk away if the other person needs space
Kellan just finished putting together a puzzle. Hanah, however, accidentally knocked over the puzzle pieces by swinging her arms as she walked past the table.
1) What might be Kellan’s perspective?
2) What might be Hanah’s perspective?
***Varying answers***
1) Kellan is very upset & mad that all the puzzle he spent a lot of time on got knocked over.
2) Hanah feels very sorry about accidentally knocking over the puzzle pieces & is worried that Kellan won’t want to talk to her.
Step #2 is to “reflect on why you failed”.
What are some reasons for failing at something?
***Varying answers***
• “I didn’t practice as much as I should have”
• “I didn’t feel ready”
• “I didn’t read the directions correctly”
• “I forgot/missed a step”
• “I rushed”
What do we do once we pick something expected to do after being told no?
Act out your best choice!
Name at least two coping tools you can use to calm down when you’re angry.
***Varying answers***
• Use the iPad
• Go on walks (inside or outside)
• Regular deep breathing OR lazy-8 breathing
• Calming sequence
• Self-talk (e.g., “Is this a big or small problem?”)
What should we do once we picked one of the choices?
Act out the choice we picked!
Kellan accidentally spilled water all over Juno’s laptop.
1) What might be Juno’s perspective?
2) What might be Kellan’s perspective?
***Varying answers***
1) Juno feels upset & worried about whether or not her laptop will work now.
2) Kellan feels sorry for what he did, even though it was an accident.
Step #3 is to “think about what you can do next time”.
What are some expected things we can do to be better at something next time?
***Varying answers***
• Practice more
• Ask someone for help
• Use positive self-talk (e.g., “I’m good at this” or “I will get better”)
1) Is it okay to be sad or mad when someone says no?
2) Is it okay to do unexpected things because someone said no?
1) Yes.
2) No.
Step #3 is to “act out your best choice”.
What should we do if we still don’t feel calm?
Pick another expected choice.
What should we do if we start feeling upset about another person feeling angry?
Use our own coping tools.
Hanah is waiting in line to get some ice cream when she notices Juno cut in front of her.
1) What might Hanah’s perspective be?
2) What might Juno’s perspective be?
***Varying answers***
1) Hanah is mad that Juno isn’t waiting in line like everyone else.
2) Juno might be thinking that cutting isn’t a big deal OR may not have realized that there was a line.