FUNNY JOKES
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the " no-bell" prize.
Why did the crab refuse to share?
Because he was shellfish
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older.
What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
What is black and white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What is the most musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A trunk full of gifts.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
What do you call a theme park with only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
Why was the musician fired?
The conductor found him too high-flute-in.
What type of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
“I scream” cake.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Which legendary creature keeps musical time best?
A metro-gnome.
Why should you celebrate your birthday in a pool after age 50?
There’s no chance of the candles starting a fire.
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Which snakes are the best at math?
Adders.
What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna?
You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
What happens if no one shows up to your birthday party?
You get to have your cake and eat it too!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.