Being Social
What does the word social mean>
How we get along with others (i.e playing with others, talking to others, behaving around others)
Define teasing and bullying
- Teasing It means to make fun of someone by playfully saying unkind and hurtful things to the person; it can be friendly, but can turn unkind quickly.
- Bullying: Happens over and over and can include name calling, taunting, insulting, gossiping, leaving people out, kicking, hitting, making someone look silly on purpose, spreading rumors, mean phone calls or text messages or making fun of someone (e.g. boy/girl repeatedly tripping someone in class, singing mean songs about someone and making fun of them, everyone playing together during recess and leaving only one kid out on purpose saying, “he can’t play with us”).
What is self awareness?
A thinking skills that focuses on our ability to understand and be aware of ourselves.
What does self-advocacy mean?
asking for the help you need.
When starting a conversation with someone what do you need to keep in mind?
1. Eye contact
2. Personal space
3. Tone of voice
We can tell what people are thinking and feeling in a conversation by looking at their non-verbal language cues. What are non-verbal language cues?
wordless movements people make with their faces & bodies that tell how they feel & what they are thinking. (ex: facial expressions: smile = happy, frown= sad and body language: shoulders up= confident, shoulders down or arms crossed, etc.)
What is resilience?
Resilience is learning from our mistakes and not giving up.
It means staying strong and dealing with problems that come up.
It is also the ability to understand that life is not always perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes, everyone does!
It is important to try new things (i.e. a new food, a new sport, talking to a new friend, etc.) even if you think you may not like it or be great at it.
Name a time when you are expected to be social and a time when you are not expected to be social?
Expected to be social- lunch cafeteria/birthday party
Expected to not be social- reading a book
What are the two types of teasing? Give an example of each.
Friendly Teasing
Friendly teasing usually makes everyone laugh and no-one feels bad.
Jokes and statements that make friends or family members feel a bond.
Is often based on things we know about each other
Works better if the two people know each other REALLY well
Causes laughter or smiles
Might cause the other person to friendly-tease back
For example: You are eating your pizza and a friend teases you and says, “you’re as hungry as a horse today”
Mean Teasing:
Joking that makes people mad, sad
Hurtful words or actions are involved
Can include: physical bumps and pushes, and minor insults. (e.g. You are playing soccer and you miss a goal and a friend says, “great shot Tim” while bumping your shoulder).
Being Self aware includes.....
Understanding our strengths (what we are good at)
Understanding where we can improve
Understanding what makes us feel good (i.e. when I hangout with my friends, when I get a good grade in school) .***When we are aware of what makes us feel good, we can continue to try to works towards doing these things.
Understanding what makes us feel upset, sad or angry
Understanding how our actions and words makes others feel- sometimes if you just say whatever you want without thinking about how your words can affect someone, it might make a person feel bad. So you want to try to stop and think before you just blurt something out
When you advocate for yourself what does it let people know?
When we advocate for ourselves it lets people know how we are feeling so that they can hopefully change how they are acting to make us feel better/different
What are the clues that you can look to to start a conversation?
- look at their clothing
- look at what they are holding
- look at what they are doing
Why do we need to use non-verbal language cues during conversation?
use these clues in a conversation to help us figure out if people are interested in what we are talking about
What does it mean to be flexible like a rubber band?
Rubber bands, like people, come in different sizes and are subjected to different challenges. They also have different thickness and abilities to stretch–shorter or longer. Like rubber bands we push ourselves to bounce back and not give up.
Why is it important to be social and follow social rules?
To make friends, get to know others, people will think we are being nice (if were not social other kids may think we are being mean or rude) and if we don’t follow these rules it can make others upset or scared.
What do you do in response to friendly teasing? What do you do in response to mean teasing?
Teasing responses:
If someone teases you in a friendly way, laugh along to show that you are able to laugh at yourself.
If someone teases you in a friendly way, you may tease the person back in a friendly way.
If the teasing turns mean and really hurts your feelings you can tell the person how you feel- SELF-ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF!, “You’re putting me down. I don’t like that. I want you to stop.”
Once we are self -aware what should you do with your behavior? Let's say you are self-aware that after you lose a baseball game you get really upset and start shouting...
need to adjust our behavior accordingly (i.e. I know that getting too close to people makes them feel uncomfortable, so I will give others personal space; I know that when I get angry and shout after losing a game, it makes others feel uncomfortable, so instead I will take belly breathes or take a break when I feel this way).
Name a time that you advocated for yourself
Students choice!
What is small talk?
small polite conversation when you have nothing specific to talk about
How to tell if someone is interested in your conversation?
Eye-contact - They are looking at you
Body Language- Body is facing you
Asking related questions
Making related comments
Using an excited tone of voice
How do you build positive self-talk?
Use positive self-talk- thinking or saying good thoughts to ourselves that make us feel better. We all have a voice in our head that we talk to throughout the day. If you are feeling down, you can use positive self-talk to feel better.
Use I Statements….
I can do this
I will get it next time
Think about what you’re great at
I’m great at running, math, and science
You use them to remember that you are in charge of your own feelings and behavior.
Come up with five unexpected behaviors in social situations?
-standing too close to someone
- interrupting someone when they are talking
- someone greets you hi and you don't say hi back
- someone is talking to you and you are looking at the other way
- someone asks you a question and you don't respond
What do you do if someone is being a bully?
Don’t give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully.
Feel good about you. You can use positive self-talk (e.g. “ What they are saying to me is not going to hurt me. I am okay. Their words are not bringing me down”).
Get a buddy (and be a buddy) Two is better than one if you’re trying to avoid being bullied. If you are not the one being bullied, help the target get out of the situation by walking away with you.
Ignore the bully. If you can, ignore the bully’s threat and walk away to a place of safety.
Don’t bully back. Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends.
Speak Up & Step In. If you see someone else being bullied, put the bully on the spot. Say something like, “That wasn’t nice, why did you say that?” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right.
Most importantly tell an adult
Why is it important to have self awareness?
Being aware of ourselves helps us accurately judge our own performance and behavior and to respond appropriately to different social situations.
What are the four things you need to keep in mind when advocating for yourself?
Use an appropriate volume - Have a strong, clear voice; do not yell or talk too quietly that no one hears us
Use kind words (example: “That’s not fair, I hate this!” versus “I don’t really like this, is there another choice?”)
Use a friendly tone of voice - Our tone can change the message; when we use a friendly tone of voice people will be more likely to help. If we yell or whine other people may feel frustrated, disrespected, or angry and may be less likely to respond in a positive way. (example: using different tones can make the same words and phrases, such as “I don’t like this,” sound very different)
We must explain HOW we are feeling or WHY we are feeling that way because others do not necessarily know what we are thinking or feeling (e.g., Can you please stop tapping your pen because it is distracting me from doing my work)
Start a conversation with someone in the room using the clues for small talk
Student's choice
How to tell if someone is not interested in your conversation?
Eye- contact - Looking away/ looking at something else
Body Language - Body is not facing you
Not continuing the conversation (asking questions or making comments)
Interrupting you to change the topic
Give your own example of positive self talk?
Student's choice