Conversations
You want to join a group of kids on the playground who are standing in a circle talking, how could you appropriately join this group?
Walk up to the group, stand near the group. Wait until there is a pause in the conversation. Ask to join in with a phrase similar to "what are you guys talking about?"
What is our social filter?
Our social filter can help us to remember what to keep in our brain and what to say out loud.
Everybody has an invisible filter in the front part of his or her brain. A “filter” is something that lets the good stuff go through and blocks the bad stuff to hold it back
What does nonverbal communication include:
facial expressions, eye contact, personal space, body language and tone of voice.
What is reading the room?
take a look at what is happening in a room around us
Observing the room and the people in it will help figure out how to blend in to different environments
What is the first step in our problem solving equation?
What is a clue you can use to start a conversation? What is small talk?
Clue: anything you see a person wearing, if you now background information on them such as sports/games they like
Small talk: a short polite conversation
What are 3 things our social filter helps us to do?
Protect a friend’s feelings
Saves you from being embarrassed
Show respect to adults in charge
Stay out of trouble
Know when/where/who you should say something to
Why is nonverbal communication important?
It impacts how we express ourselves, understand others, and form relationships with people
What is perspective taking?
Perspective taking is when you think about the people around you.
“We try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes”.
This means you try to imagine what they are feeling by reading their mood.
We read a person’s mood by reading their non-verbal communication
How can you calm your mind or body? Name two ways.
Take deep breaths, use positive self talk, take a break, take a walk, talk to someone, count to ten
To keep a conversation going you can:
Ask questions (who, what, when, where, why), make comments, shift the topic when appropriate
Give 3 examples of thoughts we should "keep" in our heads to "think it" thoughts
Insults
Negative comments
Opinions in a disrespectful way
Comments about weight of physical appearance
Prying or really personal questions
Comments about politics, religion, or race (depending on when and who you are talking to)
Curse words or mean words
If someone if furrowing their eyebrows and squinting their eyes while we are speaking how might they feel?
What type of nonverbal communication did you use to make this assessment?
Confused
Facial expression
How do we read people's moods?
Body language
Facial expressions
Tone of voice
The situation
Put all of these together, like puzzle and you will understand how someone is feeling and why they might be feeling it
You want to play a video game, your friend who came over wants to play with his new deck of cards. How can you fix this problem with flexible thinking?
Play one game first, play the other game second.
What is the topic? How do you know it's ok to shift the topic of conversation?
The topic is the subject of the conversation. You can shift the topic when there is a long pause, or when there is not much left to say about the original topic. Make sure you respond to the original topic before changing the topic
Name three examples of things that are okay to "say" or share.
Helpful thoughts
Positive comments
Opinions in a respectful way instead of “that’s stupid” you could say “I don’t really agree because…”
Compliments about physical appearance if they won’t make others uncomfortable like, “that’s a nice haircut”
General questions
Where should we be looking when someone is talking to us? Why
At that person, we need to show that we are thinking about them and we are interested. If we are looking away they will think we are thinking about something/someone else
Why do we need to put ourselves in other people's shoes?
If we accurately read people's moods we will know what is appropriate and how to respond
If we don’t read people's moods, we may say things that annoy, uncomfortable or offend other people
Being able to read people's moods makes friendships stronger and makes people have thoughts about us
It’s not just about reading people’s moods though, we need think about a situation from another person’s perspective and then react appropriately!
A kid in your class thinks they are being funny and starts joking around with you in front of others. It is hurting your feelings. How can you self advocate?
Tell him that these jokes are really hurting your feelings and embarrassing you, ask him to please stop making them
How do you know if someone is interested/disinterested in the conversation?
Non-verbal cues, they are interested if they are looking at you, their body is facing you, etc
Is this a keep it or say it thought?
"That shirt would look better on you if it was green"
If it is a keep it thought, how could we change it to a say it thought?
Keep it
"Is that a new shirt?" "I like that your trying out something different". Say nothing
What are two reasons someone may be using a low tone of voice?
Tired, the room is quiet, nervous secret
What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand and feel the feelings of another
You are at the playground with two of your friends. Your younger sibling is also there with one of her friends. Your sister and her friend ask to play with you. You do not want to play with them but also do not want to get in trouble by your parents. How can you compromise?
Let your sister play with you for a little bit then ask her if she minds if you play alone with your friend. Let your parents know that it is important to you to spend time with your friend but you included your sister for the beginning.