Flexible Thinking
Define flexible and rigid thinking.
Flexible thinking: Being okay if your plans change, if you have to do something that you do not want to do or if something doesn’t go your way.
Rigid thinking: Getting upset when something does not go your way, instead of trying to fix the problem or using a strategy to calm down
Name the different zones of regulation. What feelings go with each color?
There are four zones to describe how our brain and body feel, and there are various strategies to help us regulate or control our feelings and behavior.
BLUE Zone – Your body is running slow, such as when you are tired, sick, sad or bored
GREEN Zone – Like a green light, you are “good to go.” You body may feel happy, calm and focused.
YELLOW Zone – This zone describes when you start to lose control, such as when you are frustrated, anxious, worried, silly or surprised. Use caution when you are in this zone.
RED Zone – This zone is for strong feelings such as anger, terror and aggression. When you are in this zone, you are out of control, have trouble making good decisions and must STOP!
Building friendships takes time and effort. What is something you can do to build a friendship?
To build friendships, we can:
1. Learn about others by asking general questions (“What do you like to do for fun?”, “How many siblings do you have?”)
2. Share about yourself (Tell them about your family, interests, or hobbies)
Even though we want to share information with ourselves, we don’t want to overshare.
Oversharing means giving too much personal information too soon.
Oversharing can make others feel uncomfortable.
3. Spend time with them (hang out during or after school)
4. Keep the friendship equal (each person is trying the same amount to be friends)
Friends remember the information they have learned about each other. We can use it to think about things to talk about in conversations or when making plans to hang out.
This shows that you care about the things that are important to them!
When we learned about perspective taking, we looked at different optical illusions. Why did we do that?
to demonstrate how our thoughts can influence what we perceive.
to remind ourselves that two people can see the same thing differently
What clues can we use to tell if someone is interested in having a conversation with us?
It’s important to observe the other person’s facial expressions and body language to figure out if they are interested in speaking with you
Ex: If their body is turned away from you or they give you a very short, one worded reply they may not be interested in speaking at the moment
Eric always watches his favorite show after school, but today, the power is out! He needs to CHALLENGE himself to get FLEXIBLE. What could he do instead of watching his favorite show?
He could:
1. Read a book
2. Play outside with friends
3. Draw
Pick a calm down strategy you would use for each zone.
Answers may vary.
Sometimes you might experience low self-esteem. It is ok to feel sad or upset at times but it is important to have tools to make yourself feel better. What is one tool you can use to boost your self/esteem?
Use positive self-talk.
Spend time with people who like you and care about you.
Ignore (and stay away from) people who put you down or treat you badly.
Do things that you enjoy or that make you feel good.
Do things you are good at.
Reward yourself for your successes.
Be your own best friend - treat yourself well and do things that are good for you.
Make good choices for yourself, and don't let others make your choices for you.
Take responsibility for yourself, your choices, and your actions.
Always do what you believe is right.
Be true to yourself and your values.
Respect other people and treat them right.
Set goals and work to achieve them.
What are the 2 steps to showing empathy?
1. First, we need to figure out how the person is feeling.
We do this by reading someone’s facial expressions and listening to their tone of voice.
Then, we can match their actions with how they are feeling.
Hint: we do this by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes
2.
Second, we take action! Show them you understand!
We can do or say something to show the other person that we understand how they are feeling and we want them to feel better.
We can ask questions or make comments to show them that we want to know more about their feelings. Examples:
How are you feeling about that?
That must have been really hard.
We can also tell about a time when we have felt that way. Examples:
I get how you feel.
I hate when that happens to me.
Why do we have conversation with others?
It helps build friendships!
You can learn new things about your friends and the world
Listening to and talking with friends makes them feel good
When your friends feel good, your friendships stay strong
When you learn about each other, your friendships grow deeper
Jessie always uses her fingers to count when she adds. She needs to add 10 + 6, but she ran out of fingers to count! Her usual way of doing things won’t work. She needs to CHALLENGE herself to be FLEXIBLE. Can you think of a flexible way she could figure out the answer?
She could use:
1. A pen and paper
2. Her toes
3. A calculator
Act out an emotion and have your team guess what it is by looking at your facial expressions and body language.
Answers may vary.
Tell us about a time when it would be important to advocate for ourselves?
Someone skips my turn in a game
Someone is teasing me
If I don’t understand something
(asking a teacher for help)
Someone is telling me to do something that I know will get me in trouble
If I need a break
If someone takes control of a game
Abby and her parents were trying to decide what to do for the weekend.
Abby wanted to go to the theater and watch a movie, but her parents were tired and wanted to stay home. They decided to watch a movie at home.
What kind of solution is this? Win-win? Win-lose? Lose-win? Lose-lose?
Why are win-win solutions important?
Win-win
"Win-win” solutions are important because they help us handle conflicts with friends by thinking about others and looking for ways to make both people in a conflict happy.
What is a conversation driver? Act out how to drive a conversation with someone on your team. You can pick the topic!
Conversation Drivers are actions that move a conversation forward or help you maintain the conversation.
Jordan went to a restaurant with his friend’s family. They ordered chicken nuggets. Jordan always ate his chicken nuggets with ketchup, but his order came with honey mustard sauce, because that’s what his friend’s family always ate. Jordan did not want to try the new sauce. He just wanted the ketchup. How can Jordan be a flexible thinker?
Try the new sauce, even if it's not how he usually does things.
Tell us about a small, medium, and big problem that you have experienced. Why is it important to match our reaction size to the size of the problem?
Small problems are things we experience everyday. They can make us feel frustrated or annoyed.
Small problems are ones you can fix yourself and no one is in danger
We should have small reactions to small problems!
Examples of small reactions: walk away, fix it on your own, ignore it, choose a calm down strategy
Small problems usually require quick and simple solutions. We can usually solve small problems ourselves!
We can experience medium problems often. They can make us feel angry, hurt, or embarrassed.
Medium problems are ones that usually require the help of a friend or adult, and there’s no immediate danger
We should have medium reactions to these problems!
Examples of medium reactions: ask for help from a friend or adult, remove yourself from the situation, take a break
Sometimes, we can experience big problems. They can make us feel very angry, shocked, scared, or anxious.
Big problems are ones that require help from an adult right away, and someone may be in danger
We can have big reactions to these problems!
Big problems require big solutions! We can quickly get a teacher, yell for an adult, run away, or call 9-1-1.
Remember why it’s important for the reaction to match the size, so that you can get the appropriate help and make others around you feel comfortable.
What should we think about when we are advocating for ourselves?
What words we choose- (example: “That’s not fair, I hate this!” versus “I don’t really like this, is there another choice?”)
Use an appropriate volume- Have a strong, clear voice; do not yell or talk too quietly so that no one hears us.
Use a friendly tone- When we use a friendly tone of voice people will be more likely to help. If we yell or cry other people may feel frustrated or angry and may not want to help us.
Think about a time when you were arguing with a friend because you both wanted to do different things. How could you have compromised and found a win-win solution?
Answers will vary.
Name two types of thoughts we should keep in our head ("think it") and things we can say out loud ("say it").
THINK IT:
Insults
Negative comments about ourselves and others
Extra details about a story or experience
Opinions in a disrespectful way
Curse words or mean words
Touching others or chasing other
SAY IT:
Helpful thoughts
Positive comments about ourselves and others
Opinions in a respectful way (e.g. instead of “that’s stupid” you could say “I don’t really agree because…”)
Compliments about ourselves and others
General questions
Just the right amount of information
Key Ideas from a Story or Experience
Handshaking after playing a game
Hugging a family member or friend